Category: Fun & Satire

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A group shot of the Eyeopener Masthead team enjoying a thanksgiving dinner.

Fun & Satire The 9 to 5 Issue

POV: Thanksgiving dinner with my work family

October 29, 2024

My personal account of spending the Thanksgiving meal with my incredibly…unique…“work family”

A window of Kerr Hall is lit up by a mysterious light, with the silhouettes of two zombies approaching it

Midterm exams shockingly not disrupted by zombie outbreak

October 22, 2024

Students are panicking for their lives after zombies were spotted in Kerr Hall Quad earlier this week

An illustration of a sociology professor dressed as a vampire in a lecture room, with concerned students sitting behind him.

Eyevestigation: Vampires don’t teach sociology

October 22, 2024

An Eyevestigation into the dark sorcery behind TMU’s professors

A colourful illustration of a zodiac horoscope wheel, featuring symbols next to each sign surrounding a sun.

Putting the ‘reading’ in your reading week horoscopes

October 8, 2024

The astrological library is open, and the stars are telling you what’s in store during your week off.

A man wearing an egg costume holds up a half eaten banana.

Egg Man spotted on campus eating bananas

October 8, 2024

Students gathered around Lake Devo to watch a first-year in an egg costume eat bananas

An edit of Frankie overlooking a field of Turkeys

Frankie pardons the first turkey of Thanksgiving

October 8, 2024

TMU Bold mascot Frankie the Falcon hatches new ‘bird-mance’ with Gary the Turkey

a black and white mugshot photo illustration of TMU mascot Frankie the Falcon

Beloved Bold mascot detained for public brawl with local pigeon population

October 1, 2024

Avian violence broke out on campus yesterday over a discarded whiskey chicken wrap

An illustration of several breakfast options lined up against a light blue background. From left to right, a glass of orange juice, a bacon bracelet, a ziploc bag of fruit loop cereal and milk, two eggs, and a racoon inside a shoe holding a stick with a dangling bagel

Hot to go: quick ‘n easy breakfast options for TMU students

September 24, 2024

While slightly unorthodox, these breakfast hacks will save you both time and money!

An illustration of Duo the Duolingo mascot wearing a blue TMU sweater pointing a stick towards a grey chalkboard.

TMU welcomes the Duolingo owl to languages faculty

September 24, 2024

But is this campus big enough for two birds?

An illustration of a stressed out student studying under a pile of books.

TMU students find new and creative ways to ‘lock in’ for the school year

September 17, 2024

Students are turning to extreme study methods in the name of academics

A young woman wearing a long-sleeved black shirt and blue jeans is in the middle of a long winding hallway surrounded by red lockers and brick walls. She is looking and reaching up toward a shiny white sphere of light floating above her head.

Residence advisors hire psychic to ‘cleanse’ buildings

September 10, 2024

Beatrice Veresol aims to solve some of the biggest gripes students have with living on campus

A photo outside of the Daphne Cockwell Complex (DCC) building during a bright, sunny day with a variety of barnyard animals edited on the rooftops.

TMU includes livestock in new rooftop farm operations

September 10, 2024

The Urban Farm’s undeniable success is ready to make some mooooves in a new direction

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