Photo: William Seto

Piss off Maclean’s

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By Owen Ferguson

It’s official — Ryerson is the best shitty university in Canada.

Want proof? Check out The Maclean’s Guide to Canadian Universities ‘98. Even though we failed miserably in every category, we maintained our reputation as the second-best primarily undergraduate institution in the country.

What does this mean? It means that even though every single aspect of our university (the faculty, the library, the student awards system) sucks, we’re still known as one of the best institutions in Canada.

That’s quite an achievement. Kudos to Ryerson’s wonderful PR department — they sure seem to know what they’re doing.

University rankings aside, the ‘98 guide provides little other useful information. Perhaps the funniest collection of misinformation is in the “Campus Confidential” box in Ryerson’s two-page profile.

It seems Maclean’s decided that rather than actually talking to Ryerson students, they could rely on RyeSAC’s PR drivel.

To make up for Maclean’s laziness, here is what they should have listed:

WHAT’S HOT

  • Pulling the fire alarm at Pitman Hall
  • Smoking crack behind Sam the Record Man
  • Trippin Lake Devo skaters
  • Watching the new ice cream machine in Jorgenson Hall

WHAT’S NOT

  • Going to classes
  • Those fucking escalators
  • Drive-by shootings
  • Anything “student power” related (RyeSAC, CFS)

Maclean’s did acknowledge, however, that Ryerson’s student newspapers are “doing aggressive reporting.” Is this story the kind of aggressive journalism you’re talking about, jackass?

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