Bag O’ Crime

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By Eyeopener Staff


This week’s Bag O’ Crime is dedicated to those crazy guys who go into women’s washrooms and peek under stalls. They’re gross.

Last Tuesday, security received a report of one such misguided fellow. The lady he was spying on advised the officers to keep a lookout for a creep with a black eye because she’d given him a boot to the face when she caught him sneaking a peek.

Later than day, security was alerted of yet another Peeping Tom, this time over at Eric Palin Hall. The description of the suspect did not match the description of the first guy, so it would seem that there were at least two perverts on campus that day.

On Friday, a female student reported to security that a male student was in the women’s washroom on the sixth floor of the library. She didn’t buy his story of the men’s room being out of toilet paper, paper towels, soap and urinal pucks. Unfortunately, the goon was gone before security could catch him.

Little Willy likes you

Last Friday, a female student reported to security that a male student had exposed himself in the library while mumbling, “Pants to small, pants too tight. Come on little sister, make me feel alright.” The individual was caught and the Toronto Police were called, but no charges were pressed.

Willy gets a back rub

On Monday, a female student was surprised to see a male student masturbating under a table in a library study room. She reported the incident to security on Wednesday, after recovering from the shock.

“Stop or I’ll hit you with my bottle!”

Security received a report of a strange man hanging around the ILLC last Friday. He was pestering people for money and threatening them with a beer bottle. “Give me change or I’ll smash ya one” doesn’t work as well as, “Please, kind people, I’m lost, hungry, blind, deaf, poor and I’ve got 12 kids. Can you spare some change?” When will people learn? Then again, at least this guy wasn’t threatening people with a dead fish or peeing on them. Yikes.


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