Briefs & Groaners

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A roundup of some of the shadier — and odd — things that happen around Ryerson’s downtown campus.

In a scene that reminds us of some kind of terrible Hollywood film based in suburbia, a student was caught by security trying to get the attention of one of their friends inside the Interior Design building by throwing stones at the windows. It turns out he’d forgotten his cell phone. Makes sense to us.

A student reported her laptop stolen after she remembered that she had accidentally left it in the Pitman hall courtyard for ten minutes when she went to class. Idea for business student entrepreneurs: Invent a wearable alarm system that goes off when you leave the vicinity of your most prized possessions. No need to thank us, just send us the cheque later.

It’s always annoying when you suddenly get a craving for a certain food, but a man must have been ravenous when he tried to rob the hot dog stand next to the RCC last week. His rampage for meat woke up the attendant on hand, who was sleeping at the time, although he was stopped by campus security who happened to be passing by. He was arrested by city police and then charged with one count of robbery — a lot worse than being given the wrong change back.

In another quest for meat, a man who was being chased down Yonge Street by a store owner after he stole a couple of pornographic DVDs was stopped by security. He was let go after agreeing to pay.

Cleaning staff alerted security after finding, just in time for Halloween, a large amount of blood in a third floor bathroom stall in the RCC. No one was found, which leads The Eyeopener news team to think that it was a ghost that needs more fibre.

And finally, security was called after a student who may or may not be a community section editor at the Eyeopener, got something stuck in her eye. When not able to wash it out, security escorted her to a walk-in clinic. We can report that it was a happy ending and we all love her very much. Wear goggles next time.

— Lee Richardson

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