Putting fantasies to the test

We asked three Ryerson couples to act out some of the most common fantasies. Which ones were more silly than sensual?

THE LIBRARIAN

He said:

Honestly, I thought role play was only for old married couples who were bored with their sex lives. Since I’m not, I figured the game would just get in the way of having sex.

At first, it just felt weird. I felt oddly shy because it was so new. But as time wore on the edge came off. There’s definitely something about pencil skirts and heels. Once we got into it I forgot how awkward I’d initially felt and was able to enjoy myself. While she was teasing me I felt ridiculously horny and I really just wanted to have sex. It was obvious she liked being in control and she treated me like a dirty little slut for wanting her so badly. But it wasn’t long until she had control over me, and then it was obvious that she loved it. I hope she doesn’t start teasing me too much, but we’ll see!

— By Phil F.

She said

I set the scene by pulling my hair back in a tight bun and dressing in a pencil skirt, button-down shirt with the top buttons undone, and lace up heels. Since I don’t have a library in my apartment, I set up books around my room.

At first I felt awkward because I could tell that Phil was nervous. When he came in asking for a certain book I was cold, saying things like, “I don’t think I have what your looking for”. As the scene rolled on I used this harshness to my advantage. I don’t usually tease him much, but not allowing him to touch me as I let my hair down and slowly unbuttoned my shirt was fun.

It was hot to be in control and see his desperation. He said this experience may have created a monster. I think he’s right.

— By Gin Sexsmith

THE STRANGER:

He said:

I’m smoking a cigarette on the curb (you know, very James Dean) and she walks by. I stop her and drop my smoothest pick-up line. She swoons. I ask if I could buy her coffee.

We hit it off immediately and get to talking as we wait for our lattes. I lay it on, and she succumbs to my irresistible charm. By now we’re just itching to get out of there and see where this goes. It goes all the way to the alley behind the Starbucks.

I push her up against the wall, our cold breath fogging up her glasses. We kiss. Rapture.

After a solid seven seconds of making out she breaks off and says she’s late for work. She looks back, briskly walking off and our eyes meet. She’ll be back and I’ll be waiting.

Would I do this again? Probably not. It’s so much easier to just get her drunk. It was nice to practise my moves though. It’s comforting to know that I haven’t gotten rusty over time. Hell, if anything, I think I’m more suave than ever! What a lucky girl she is.

— By Joe Ball

She said:

I’m walking to Starbucks when this baby-faced guy with a creepy smile comes up to me. “Excuse me,” he asks. “Do you have a quarter? I just wanted to call your mother and thank her for bringing you into this world.” I’m speechless. I shake my head, brush by him and head into the coffee shop. He follows me. I let him pay for my latte because, hell, I might as well get something out of this.

We cap our drinks and head outside. He grabs my arm, saying he has this “cool thing” to show me in the alley.

He pushes me against the brick wall and before I know it, he’s trying to devour my face. It must have been seven seconds before I could break free and run out of the alley, spilling out some B.S. about being late for work. As I turn the corner I look back, and he winks, grinning like a doofus. If I wasn’t dating him, I think I’d be afraid to ever see his face again.

Would I do this again? Not to get me off. It was too funny to be sexy. But it was nice to feel courted again.

— By Shannon Higgins

THE FIREFIGHTER:

He said:

Being a strong heroic firefighter saving a nearly naked damsel in distress is a fantasy shared by many men, including myself. But in practice, the lack of anonymity and surprise made it feel like 70s porn: tacky, predictable and hilarious.

I entered the room to find my girlfriend mostly naked. She directed me to the raging fire (four candles) located on her windowsill, and I immediately started laughing. After I calmed down, I tried to “seductively” blow out the candles, but I started laughing again. She held it together and offered me a massage, which I gladly accepted, but as things progressed, we deteriorated into laughter. When we calmed down, she asked where my fire hose was, which triggered some sort of animal instinct in me. Clothes, personas, and firefighter hats were quickly discarded and our passions reached new levels of heat.

I would do it again, but only if it was a surprise. Role-playing has potential to be sexy, but even when it’s not it’s still fun.

— By Chris Dale

She said:

Sure, a hot and sweaty fireman bravely rescuing the scared yet scantily-clad woman from her burning home sounds sexy. But in reality, you mostly just get giggles.

I told him my life was threatened by a raging fire (four candles on my window ledge). While he bravely extinguished them, I commented that he must be so hot from all that hard work, shouldn’t he take his shirt off? Would his aching muscles like a massage? I even played the widow card. (I haven’t been touched by a man in five years!) Nothing worked. We just kept collapsing on each other in laughter.

Until I asked where his hose was. Maybe it’s a guy thing, but that seemed to do it for him. The characters were dropped as quickly as his pants and the fire chief hat fell forgotten to the floor. As for what followed, let’s just call it a five-alarm.

The role-playing in itself was silly, not sexy, but I’d do it again. Rolling around half naked with your partner laughing can only lead to good things.

— By Lauren Strapagiel