Toronto Metropolitan University's Independent Student Newspaper Since 1967

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Briefs & Groaners

A roundup of some of the shadier — and just plain odd — things that happen around Ryerson’s downtown campus.

A female student complained of “bite-like marks” on her foot and a male reported the same thing on the lower side of his chest. This was no coincidence. Sexsomnia is real.

A rollerblader was on the corner of Victoria and Gould when he tripped on the curb and dislocated his shoulder. Don’t worry, we laughed too.

A fire alarm went off in the TRSM on Friday when someone set some newspaper ablaze. Can’t you guys just make paper hats?

A man was apprehended by the stairwell of the Victoria Building. He was holding a porn magazine, a crack pipe and was “making obscene gestures towards his private area.” We’re going to pin this one on @EvilEggy (follow him on Twitter).

Numerous people had their laptops, wallets and backpacks stolen this week because they “just left for a minute.” WATCH YOUR SHIT. And if someone stole something that was sitting at your feet, you’re an idiot.

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