By Gin Sexsmith
Women: they’re sexy, sensual, and in my experience, pretty good kissers. But how do you tell your boyfriend that your “random” make-outs weren’t really all that random, and that you’re actually bisexual?
Of course there are a bunch of things to consider before you let him know: will it make things weird? If you’re already a flirt, will he start being suspicious over girls too? Will he be too into it?
The questions are endless. But if it’s who you are, it should be out in the open. Telling him can be a little nerve-wracking, especially if you’re really not sure how he’ll react.
For me, a simple “you know I’m sometimes attracted to girls, too,” was enough — but I’m sure for some people it wouldn’t be so easy. If that’s the case, approach it how you’d approach any serious topic: sit down, calmly tell him that you think you’d feel closer to him if he knew the real you and, if you need to, reassure him that just because you’re also attracted to women doesn’t mean you’re looking to leave him for a girl.
Once you’ve let the cat out of the bag (no pussy-pun intended) you may be bombarded with questions like, “do you think she’s hot?” This is pretty normal. Even if you’ve been aware of this part of yourself for years, it’s new to him — and most likely exciting.
I suggest answering for a bit, then start replying with “do you think she’s hot?” If you’re dating someone with at least a couple brain cells, he’ll get the point. It’s not like he is attracted to every single woman either (unless you’re dating Tiger Woods). He has a type. You have a type. We all have types. Big whoop.
He’s not as thrilled with your ability to randomly get girls numbers, fair enough. Getting digits is on the border of “emotional cheating,” a gray area which I plan on delving into in the next week or two.
Once he knows there could be a possible attraction to these girls, phone numbers go from cute to threatening. On the other hand, no one should have to deal with too much suspicion. A good relationship should be built on mutual trust, whatever your sexuality.
If you’re with someone who’s breathing down your neck and making you feel guilty over socializing, then my vote is that you walk — is that shit really worth the hassle? Who wants to look back five years after a relationship-coma and say, “Fuck, I missed out on meeting so many people because [douchebag] got jealous each time talked I to someone else?”
The realization that he should not only be aware of other dudes, but also some chicks scamming on you could be a little overwhelming for him. But if you’re content and happy in your relationship, just let him know.
He should be happy that not only did he beat out other guys for you, but he beat out some ladies too. Maybe he hasn’t thought of things like that yet? Everyone likes an ego boost. If you’re the experimental type, this could be the prime time to bring up the idea of a threesome.
Learning that you’re into chicks will reassure him that he won’t have to prepare for a sword fight. Food for thought: sexuality is socially constructed. Maybe we all have tendencies to swing both ways at times? My boyfriend didn’t bat an eye when I told him that although for the most part I’m attracted to guys there are times when girls can get me going. Being the perv that he is, he liked the thought of it.
However, there was one time, during a romp, when I accidentally told him I loved his pussy. He wasn’t so thrilled… Thank god I didn’t give the guy a penis complex. Oops #awkwardtimesinbed.
What was your most awkward time in bed? Hit me up on twitter @ginsexsmith or email communities@ theeyeopener.com with your stories or your sex questions.