Hey, wait, Xena’s not so bad

By Jarrod Hoogendam

I am a very judgemental person. This is not to say that I hate everything, just that I like or dislike someone or something at first glance without being hindered by a silly thing like a reason. I’ll give you an example. The television program Get a Life will forever be one of my all time favourites, a decision I made practically on first sighting of the brilliant Chris Elliot. My instincts in these matters rarely lead me astray, but from time to time…

I don’t know how many of you have sat at home on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, flipping channels, hoping that magically, that show you love will amazingly begin at 3:12 p.m., but I find myself doing it all too often. Then, I’ll hit Global or The New VR and see that idiotic Hercules show, Xena or Sinbad. Ugh! Since when was there a renaissance of this type of show? Even the morons who act in these programs have to be embarrassed. Cheezy fight scenes, awful special effects and the only thing worse than the acting is the plot.

Then I actually watched an episode. I was avoiding studying for a test ( we all know how desperate that can make you) and sat down for the opening sequence of Hercules. And I watched the entire thing. Then I stuck around for Xena: Warrior Princess. I raced back from my piss-break so that I wouldn’t miss a second of it! Unbelievably, these shows were pretty good.

The plots often involve our own myths, such as Santa Claus, historical events, Caesar’ empire with strong character development. The fight scenes, although still a little cheezy are well choreographed and seem natural within the stories. The effects aren’t bad either. The series is produced by the same company that made the Evil Dead films (if you haven’t seen them, run, don’t walk…) and have the same sort of feel to them.

My favourite is Xena, and no, your Friends watching masses, not to see her bounce and jiggle. In fact, although there is cleavage aplenty, this show is very anti-Baywatch. The lead actress does not have a supermodel physique, nor does she act less intelligent than her sword. I read an article recently praising Xena as a positive female role model. Wow, huh? Who would have thought that?

Certainly I wouldn’t have. Give these shows a try. Oh, by the way, I don’t care how many awards Traders has won, that has to be the worst show I’VE NEVER SEEN.