Photo: Sean Fitz-Gerald

Ice cream but no lard ass

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By Lori Fazari

I’m the type of person who eats and eats and never gains weight.

Before you stop reading this column and throw a Twinkie at me, hear me out.

Generally, this type of weight problem is a good thing — I eat a lot, and not always healthy stuff, and still fit into the jeans I bought sometime in high school. Lately, my problem has been trying to keep weight on because I’ve been losing too much.

I won’t go into how unhealthy this is (there’s a reason why I haven’t visited my family doctor in a long, long time, something to do with the fact that my diet is crappy and I never work out).

But what’s most irritating for me is other people’s reaction to my weight. People (namely my mother) tell me I’m too skinny and need to put on the pounds.

Hey, it’s not a switch you turn on and off, as I’m sure anyone who’s dieted knows — you can’t just lose weight, and it’s just as hard to gain weight.

Anyway, I’m happy with my weight, so why do people have to tell me to slap just a little more peanut butter on my bagel, or make a third trip to the ice cream vending machine in one day?

My friends won’t ever let me join any discussions on weight. When they talk about trying to squeeze into a dress that barely fits anymore, and I try to throw in my valuable opinion, their automatic reaction is to roll their eyes at me, and say, “Please spare me, you’re so skinny you make me sick,” and, “Why don’t you go eat some nachos and salsa and shut up.”

These comments are rude and totally uncalled for. I get those days of the month, too, where I feel bloated and my jeans are just a bit too tight.

It’s not like I can’t sympathize with friends who are constantly watching what they eat and working out to keep their weight down.

What I wish they’d do is accept their body weight for what it is, and not try to force it down to what society’s ideal body type is. Eat what you want, in moderation, and exercise to make yourself feel strong and healthy. Enough with this fighting the bulge mentality, because really, it’s a losing battle.

And if you think I’m too skinny, too bad. Just keep your comments to yourself.

Now if you’ll excuse me, the ice cream machine is calling.

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