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Sorry: it’s not me, it’s you

Sonia Straface lists the 10 habits to kick if you don’t want to end up unfriended on Facebook

Last week, comedian and talk show host Jimmy Kimmel declared Nov. 17 “National UnFriend Day”. To celebrate, participants are urged to cut the “friend fat” out of their Facebook diets.

But before you decide who you’ll be cutting, consider that you could be on someone else’s hit list.

If you want to steer clear of the Facebook slaughterhouse, here are some annoying habits you might want to kick pronto.

1. Constant status updates No one wants to know how much studying sucks, who’s sitting beside you in the library or how good your caramel macchiato is. If anyone wanted the most mundane details of your life, they would ask.

2. Commenting too much First of all, how do I even know you? Secondly, why are you commenting on my album titled “Grandma’s Surprise 80th Birthday”? Facebook creep alert!

3. Liking everything on my profile Your friends can do without the 67 irrelevant notifications.

4. Inappropriate flirting I saw the heart you posted on my boyfriend’s wall, profile picture and status. Stay off of Facebook until you master the art of subtlety.

5. Self-deprecating posts Fishing for compliments on a site where perverts are as common as FarmVille gamers is just asking for trouble. Leave the self-degradation for your shrink.

6. Frequent game invitations Please stop asking me for ammo to help you with Mafia Wars. I’m busy with school and work. Maybe you should give them a try.

7. Limiting profile access Why ask me to be your friend if you won’t let me see your pictures, write on your wall or check out your interests. If you’re this private, you need a diary, not an account on a social networking site.

8. Posting angry statuses Instead of venting your frustrations to a friend (or a professional), you decide to dish in a public domain? Talk about passive aggressive.

9. Using a self-given nickname I could be wrong here, but I’m pretty sure when we met, your name was Peter Ward, not Peter P-Money Gangsta Ward. We get it: you’re into hip-hop. That does not give you the right to assume a ridiculous identity.

10. Poor spelling and grammar Nothing is more annoying than someone who “TyPes LyKe DiS”. Use spellcheck and turn off the caps lock. It’s quick and won’t leave people wondering whether you’ve recently suffered some form of head trauma.

Photo: Marta Iwanek

1 Comment

  1. T

    Re: #1 and #8

    Use the hide function… people forget the hide function all the time, then complain about people’s frequent posting. The net effect of this is to demonstrate the complainers lack of technological skills.

    😛

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