Toronto Metropolitan University's Independent Student Newspaper Since 1967

All Fun & Satire

Hot dog guzzlin’

By Anika Syeda

Little known fact: it  takes exactly five days, five angry hot dog vendors, one five-time-jilted interviewer, and $20 worth of hot dogs to find out how many hot dogs a vendor eats per day.

Here are my top three favourite responses I received from disgruntled vendors. Neat-o!

1. “Is this important?”

2. “Buy the hotdog or don’t.”

3. “No.”

Only one hot dog vendor gave me the time of day: the sweet, smiley, heavily-accented man at Victoria and Gould Streets. When asked how many hot dogs he eats on a daily basis, he said “Some day I eat 20, some day I eat 10.”

That’s approximately 500 to 1,000 grams of processed meat every working day. A 2009 report by the American Institute for Cancer research claims one hot dog every day for an extensive period of time increases the risk of colorectal cancer by 21 per cent. That’s butt cancer, for those of us who are science-illiterate.

This champ eats 20 butt cancer-inducing sandwiches per day.

 

With that in mind, next time I purchase a hot dog, I’ll be sure to tip the vendor with free lunch from anywhere but a hot dog stand. Save the butts!

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