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Students shave heads to combat stress

In Fun & Satire /

By Melissa Salamo

Residence Council’s next event called “Breaking it Down Like Britney” will consist of shaving students’ heads to “reduce stress and prompt better sleep,” according to executive members.

“I honestly think I am going crazy. I’ve had countless numbers of readings, projects and assignments,” said first-year undeclared arts student Nathaniel McDonald. “I don’t know what sleeping before 12 feels like anymore. Even when I try to go to bed early, my mind doesn’t shut up and my brain physically hurts.”

The event was created because of students like McDonald.

“We wanted to create an event that would help students eliminate stress in their lives, especially with exams coming up,” said Residence Council President Dana Pemberton. “We’ve done extensive research through Yahoo Answers and concluded that shaving students’ hair off will make their heads much lighter, allowing them to have clearer thoughts and reduce the tension in their skulls.”

The saying “weight off my shoulders” became “weight off my head” when Britney Spears shaved her hair off in 2007. Clearly she was going through a break down, and according to inside sources, this act really help her mentally and physically.

“Ever since she shaved her hair off, she’s had a remarkable turnaround,” said Residence Council’s VP of Finance Jessie Decker. “She started hitting up the gym again and had a complete attitude makeover.”

Thanks to Britney, a new form of therapy is helping millions of young adults around the world.

The term BIDLB, which stands for “Breaking it Down Like Britney,” has been incorporated into our therapeutic vocabulary and is mainly suggested to university students.

Pemberton said she believes this is an excellent way to get students’ minds “reset” and away from school work.

According to the event’s campaign, students will also be able to sleep better at night because their “scalps will be fresh and hair will not be in their way.”

Hair in the way has been a real struggle amongst some Ryerson students.

“I hate it when I’m trying to sleep but I have hair all over my fucking face. After a long day of classes and work, the last thing I want to do is breathe into hair,” third-year engineering student Taylor Mosell said. “I can’t wait for the Breaking it Down Like Britney event. I’ll be shaving it all off… and for free!”

Residence Council members said they are expecting positive outcomes from this event and are cordially inviting all resident students to Pitman Quad on Saturday, Dec. 10 with razors ready to “Break it Down Like Britney.”

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