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The he-said, she-said on modern hookup culture

In Editorial, Love & Sex, Multimedia, Video /

In favour of hookup culture: by Olivia Bednar

Millennials get bashed constantly for their promiscuity. Our relationships last as long as our phone batteries—we have commitment problems, we’re emotionless and apathetic, we pose a threat to monogamy. Or at least, that’s what those of us who engage in casual sex are accused of.

The inception of dating apps have only contributed to this idea, making us out to be this new breed of sex-driven robots living in an apocalyptic Tinder-verse.

The truth is, these apps are just making hookup culture more visible. It has always existed—but our generation is taking all of the criticism.

Casual hookups are a dude’s dream and a girl’s worst nightmare, right? Or at least, that’s what some people will tell you. God forbid a woman enjoys herself during sex. But these casual rendez-vous can *gasps* actually empower young women by allowing them to feel confident and comfortable with their bodies and their sexuality, instead of ashamed. The term “slut” should be removed from everyone’s vocabulary.

If you’re having sex, odds are you’re a consenting adult. Which means that you, and only you, can make the choice about what you want to do with your body. Celebrate instead of shunning yourself. 

Be liberated by a casual hookup, or don’t be. That’s the beauty of it: you can choose whether or not you want to be part of this culture. Choice is important. It’s also important not to look down on those who make choices based on what’s good for them.

Sexual exploration is a big part of growing up. But in order to make it less taboo, we need to be open minded.

More importantly, with the shitstorm that’s happening south of our border, young people having casual sex should be the least of our worries.

And why not have some fun before committing to a life of Friday night Netflix-ing with your significant other? If you’re still searching for that person who’ll let you have that last spoonful of ice cream, why not have some fun?

As long as it’s safe and consensual, keep on swiping!

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Against hookup culture: by Devin Jones

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with casual sex or dating, and that’s not where my issues with hookup culture lie. While I prefer having a partner to go home to at the end of a stressful day, I certainly understand the freedom of doing whatever (and whomever), whenever you choose to.

But when the fuck did sex, casual dating and general hookup culture become cruel, spiteful and demoralizing? Somehow, many of us seem to have forgotten that there’s another person involved in these easy, breezy, enticing adventures. It’s one thing to be selfish. It’s one thing to not want—in that moment—to share yourself emotionally with someone else. No one should ever condemn you for making that choice. But it’s another thing entirely to leave a sleeping woman in the middle of the night because you got what you came for and “have better things to do.”

There’s this argument that gets thrown around in articles about not subjecting yourself to the awkwardness that accompanies sleeping with someone you just met. But guess what: life is fucking awkward, so get over yourself. Buy them coffee in the morning, offer a quick hug and then you can peace out. Or, if you’re a polite douchebag, at the very least you can leave a note on your way out.

Maybe I’m old, but when did we decide sex and being kind to someone don’t coalesce? It’s my belief that dating apps have done irrevocable damage to the way we treat others. Hooking up has become a game based on the common denominator, where the excuse of never seeing that person again gives you grounds to be a complete dickbag and feel good about it afterwards.

It’s good to have experiences when you’re young, and a lot of us may be too horny to settle down, anyway. But that doesn’t mean the lessons we’ve been taught our entire lives about respecting other people, especially in vulnerable situations like during sex, means we turn into raging asshats just to get some.

To me, sex should always be meaningful. Respect and awareness for both people is imperative and should be the most important thing.

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