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Fun & Satire

White couple disconnected from politics enough to argue about it and maintain relationship

By Lyba Mansoor

Michael ‘Mikey’ White and long-time girlfriend Jessica Pines were overheard arguing about politics at Ryerson campus’ Tim Hortons before walking out hand in hand, leaving onlookers shocked.

The wholesome Caucasian couple were discussing racially charged shootings in the wake of the New Zealand terror attacks, and though the two had differing opinions, they seemed as in love as ever.

“They seemed so happy together even though they didn’t agree on something so major,” said Anjali Patel, an onlooker who seemed to be witnessing one of the many benefits of white privilege for the first time.

“Wait, white people can talk about that stuff and not break up?” said Ajani Glenmore, a black student whose last relationship ended because her boyfriend didn’t believe in the Black Lives Matter movement.

The Eye caught up with the couple, who were adamant that discussions like this have little to no bearing on their relationship.

“We talk about shit like this all the time! What’s the big deal? It’s just differing opinions on things like basic human rights to life, liberty and freedom,” said Pines, who was sporting a t-shirt adorned with multiethnic hands that read ‘we are all human.’

“Yah, me and Jess disagree all the time. It’s nice to challenge opinions in a relationship, it’s not like I love Jess any less just because our beliefs on politics don’t line up,” said White, a self-proclaimed devil’s advocate.

The entire incident left the people in the Tim Hortons entirely floored.

“So that’s what having a gulf of emotional disconnect from politics can do to a relationship, huh,” said one man who dropped his bagel when he heard White tell Pines ‘let’s agree to disagree,’ before walking out together.

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