Subject: Lachemi is turning 63!

You are invited to the university’s greatest celebration of the year—President Mohamed Lachemi’s 63rd Birthday Party! 

When: Friday, March 21 | 2 p.m. 

Where: The most lavish, upscale and beloved venue—Chuck E. Cheese.

Get ready for the most exciting and fascinating afternoon of your life, featuring:

• Overpriced arcade games (just like your tuition)!

• A lively animatronic show (which will give you more nightmares than the Five Nights at Freddy’s movie).

• President Lachemi’s candle celebration (there will be lots of candles…and we mean lots).

Event Schedule:

2 p.m. – Guest Arrival

VIPs are welcome to bring one guest. No more, or you’ll be officially kicked out of the university. And please, no fake IDs or excessive photo-taking. We see you, journalism students.

2:30 p.m. – Pizza dinner

Due to budget restrictions, each student will get one slice of pizza. Yes, just one! But don’t worry, it’ll be the best quality two-day-old pizza you’ll ever have.

3 p.m. – Arcade fun

Join Lachemi, staff and students in an epic showdown with overpriced arcade games for a prize. That’s right! You can win a five per cent discount on a course textbook (that you’ll never end up using).

4 p.m. – Cake cutting

Indulge in a seven-layer carrot cake (Lachemi’s favourite flavour) and watch him attempt to blow out all 63 candles! Like class attendance, the singing of ‘Happy Birthday’ is mandatory.

4:15 p.m. – Dance battle

Get ready for an epic dance party featuring the most beloved animatronic band. Watch the greatest breakdance battle of all time go down between Lachemi and the groove master Chuck E. Cheese! The president has got some moves that might just change your life—or, at the very least, make you wonder why you didn’t sign up for the performance dance program earlier.

4:30 p.m. – Rap battle

Next up, Lachemi will show off his multilingual talents with a rap battle! Yup that’s right, Lachemi will be dropping bars in English, French and Arabic. Will it be totally legendary? Will it be slightly confusing? Only time will tell.

4:45 p.m. – Naval battle

Batten down the hatches! Three sheets to the wind! All hands on deck as Lachemi intends to launch an attack on overseas students’ college funds. Double the expenses? Double the fun!

5 p.m. – Grab those goodie bags!

Goodie bags include a plushie, a snack or a surprise item that might just be your ticket to skipping class. Warning: We’ve caught TMU mascot Frankie B. Bold chowing down on a few of the bags. If he’s gotten a hold of yours, it’s his territory now. 

6:30 p.m. – Pick-up

Please have your parents ready to pick you up at 6:30 p.m. sharp. We can no longer house students after their first year. No exceptions, unless you’d prefer to spend the night with Chuck E. and the gang.

Additional notes:

Dress Code: Although this event may seem casual, you’re mistaken. Lachemi would not be caught dead out in public without his signature bright yellow tie and navy blue blazer. He expects all guests to dress the same. 

Gift ideas: Cold hard cash. Or, if you’re feeling extra generous, consider giving Lachemi your parking spot for his third Range Rover. 

Let’s make this birthday one for the history books! (Or at least one for the student group chats).

Please RSVP to Mohamed’s mom at 1-800-LACHEMI.

See you there!