Category: Fun & Satire

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Features Fun & Satire The Darkest Timeline

Child care cuts in Ontario are hurting students with kids

October 8, 2019

Child care was already a faulty system, but now provincial cuts are making students choose between classes or their kids

Fun & Satire The Darkest Timeline

God abandons humanity to loiter on campus

October 8, 2019

The original Creator and Supreme Ruler of the Universe came down in the form of a Gould Street skater

Fun & Satire The Darkest Timeline

Students just fucking hope we’re in a simulation

October 8, 2019

The simulation will be televised...

Fun & Satire The Darkest Timeline

Doug Ford worried journalists will find his tax refund, cancels journalism entirely

October 8, 2019

“A spray-tanned goblin like Ford is the perfect candidate to join a secret tax evasion society”

Fun & Satire The Darkest Timeline

RSU becomes victim of cancel culture through student choice initiative

October 8, 2019

The RSU loves student money, who knew?

Climate Crisis Fun & Satire The Darkest Timeline

Good vibes despite planetary existential crisis

October 8, 2019

We’ve comprised a list of totally valid and 100 per cent effective ways to turn that anxiety-induced resting bitch-frown upside down.

Climate Crisis Fun & Satire The Darkest Timeline

Alternate universe without climate crisis discovered

October 8, 2019

Universe 95 gives us a peek into a world where the climate crisis isn’t threatening the Earth’s very existence.

Climate Crisis Features Fun & Satire The Darkest Timeline

The rise of eco-anxiety

October 8, 2019

“It gets to a point where you feel like you can’t do anything because there’s too much to do"

Fun & Satire The Darkest Timeline

Creative freelancer runs out of personal narratives to profit off of

October 8, 2019

Moon has banked on her traumatic experiences to pay her bills. But she’s run into a new problem: she has no more emotional trauma to exploit in her work.

Fun & Satire The Darkest Timeline

Budget cuts fuck newspaper, two editors left

October 8, 2019

“Honestly I’m not surprised it’s come to this,” said current Editor-in-Chief, Arts and Culture, Sports, Community, Features, Media and Photo Editor, Haras Lehcirk.

Editorial Fun & Satire The Darkest Timeline

The Darkest Timeline: I can’t believe it’s not better

October 8, 2019

I combined satire and reported stories in order to prove to you that we truly are in The Darkest Timeline glitch

An illustration of a lemonade stand style booth with a sign that says "advice 25 cents" next to it is a little girl crying

Advice for students who never get called on in class

October 1, 2019

Real ass answers for real ass questions

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