Photos: Joanne Briggs and Michelle Kasprzak

Reach out and fuck someone

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Reading Time: 4 minutes

By Jane Young

“Congratulations! You have just made the most important telephone call of your life. Sit back and relax while Quest Interactive makes a difference in your life.”

The back of any weekly or daily are cluttered with ads, promising to give you a chance to find love. But these phone dating services are where the social degenerates meet. Nothing is sacred here, no outrageous fantasy left unspoken. It is advertised as a place to meet normal people.

To have a date. To get to know someone interesting. And five minutes into it, you are asked if you like it up the ass. How many times can you jerk off to the sound of a strange voice over the phone? After you’ve heard someone’s most intimate, darkest fantasy, how can you enjoy the simple pleasure of a kiss? There is no love here. People come here after they have been rejected for the last time and can not go through face-to-face communication again.

They come here to dispense of their more immoral and disgusting thoughts, without the worry of social repercussions. They could not meet you even if they wanted to. Their sexual fantasies have gone too far to be able to understand a caress, a hug. They need to hear the hardcore, the taboo in order to release their frustrated semen. Incest? Done it. Beastiality? A favourite turn-on/ After doing this for so long, it requires the demented, the demeaning just to get hard.

“Think of it as shopping — browse until you find the guy you want and connect!”

I spent seven hours browsing on telepersonal ads and datelines. Most ads are shown in Now! Magazine depict a happy couple relaxing together or hugging. The first system I phoned was The Night Exchange. Each time I set up an ad as Jane, a student looking for someone interesting to talk to. The greeting is put into the system and members can respond. I had 10 messages in five minutes. There was Julian, who wanted “friendship later,” and considered himself “kinky and ready for anything.” Or Ritchie, who wanted me to embark “on a slippery journey aboard the Cruise Ship Fantasy.” His motto was “cum one, cum all, cum again and again and again.” Six messages were from Mike, who was “getting hot” from the sound of my voice.

A chime came out on the line, notifying me that Mike wished to “CONNECT LIVE ONE-ON-ONE.” I accepted. Mike had the low, overl breathy voice that was the trademark on datelines. After asking my age, looks and bra size, he told me he was going to begin masturbating. He was at his office, he said, but the door was locked, so I didn’t have to worry. Mike liked me telling his fantasies and experiences. He said he lost his virginity to his teacher when he was 13. He enjoyed group sex and “shaved pussies.” He told me to take my panties off. I doodled on my newspaper. He was he was going to “blow his load all over my face,” and then lick it off. I hung up.

“You can set up your own private room! Then if you want to invite someone back, give them the key number and have uninterrupted conversation.” This is another service offered by The Night Exchange. You can even choose background sounds to set the mood you want. You can have a “Billiards Room,” which has conversation and the sound of pool balls breaking. “Tropical island” features hula dancing music, and the “pleasure dome” has a girl screaming in ecstasy to set the right atmosphere. I chose “pool party” with lots of splashing and laughing. That’s where Lee told me he wanted to spank me and fuck me with a dildo.

“Welcome to Rick’s interactive phone pub! I’m Rick, your bartender.” Rick tries to establish  a bar setting for you to meet people. If you want to talk, he’ll slip someone a “note” saying you want to “dance.” If you want someone blocked from sending you “notes” you press seven and Sly the bouncer will kick them out for you. When your greeting enters the system, the dj announces your arrival. I received a message from Jason, who wanted to know if I wanted a “hot wet tongue in my steamy pussy?” I did not reply. A few minutes later, he sent another. “I take it you aren’t interested. I guess you don’t want me to lick your clit with my long tongue. I think you should suck my hard cock. Then I’ll fuck your ass. Maybe that would please you.” I sent Sly.

“It’s the easy and exciting way to meet people with similar interests as you.” At Quest Interactive I met Dylan. He said he was well-educated, good looking and just looking to get to know someone. I decided to chat with him After a few minutes of small talk, he told me he wanted to meet me, but needed to know if I swallow first. I also received a chat request from Rob, who wanted to give me his “big Italian sausage.” I could hear a baby gurgling and babbling in the background.

“A telephone dateline is not a strange way to meet people!” says the Quest Interactive ad in NOW! Magazine. I did not meet anyone from a dateline. I did not meet my future husband. Quest Interactive offered different categories to browse through. The “Leather and Fetish” category had 87 ads. The “Long Term Relationship” had one.


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