University life beyond Ryerson’s walls

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By Eyeopener Staff

Protestors try to bar monkey research

Monkeys are being secretly tortured in the name of dental research at the University of Toronto, according to Toronto-based Freedom for Animals. Two weeks ago some 60 people marched around the dentistry faculty’s building to protest the primate experiments.

The group alleges brain operations are being performed on fully conscious macaque monkeys, and is demanding the school stop treating the creatures like lab rats, establish and fund a sanctuary for surviving monkeys and release video footage of the experiments. They say monkeys are held in primate chairs where their heads are held firmly in position. Other experiments use electrodes permanently implanted in the tree-dwelling creatures’ brains to record which muscles are used to perform tongue and jaw movements.

The researchers say the group is just trying to throw a monkey wrench into their experiments. The monkeys do wear a skull cap through which electrodes are guided to a specific area, says the dentistry faculty’s associate dean of research, but when they’re all done being restrained for a maximum of two hours, the Curious Georges are put back in their cage where they have toys to play with and television for entertainment. They better at least get cable, otherwise that’s gotta be worth a monkey rights complaint.

York’s moose put out to pasture

Moose thieves struck on York University’s campus at the end of the summer. The York moose, part of the city’s public art campaign, was stationed at the main campus entrance on Keele Street. Diversity, as the fibreglass creature is known, was snatched from its wooden platform at the end of August and put out to pasture—literally. The moose disturbers stationed the animal amid the tall grass of a field south of its original home. The university had to send it out to be fixed, and it’s been relocated to a more heavily patrolled area of the campus.

This begs the question: why doesn’t Ryerson have its own moose? And the golden one in front of the Zanzibar doesn’t count.

Calgary students’ union scores windfall

The calculator batteries at the University of Calgary Students’ Union offices must have been dying when the last fiscal year’s surplus was being forecasted. Instead of ending up with the original $20,000 target, the student council scored more than 10 times that amount. Now they’re debating how to spend the $250,000 surplus, which is partly the result of savings in staff salaries, a delay on expansion, and revenue from concerts, conferences and commercial leases. Although loan payments may swallow a chunk of the funds, one suggestion is offering scholarships to students. Holding a really big keg party is another surefire way to help dissolve the funds. Hey, if they fire their accountant, there’s a whole other salary to spend.

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