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PSYCHIC TELLS ALL

By Jen Gerson

The following predictions were made during a private reading with The Eyeopener by professional psychic David. 

David says there will be an arrest made in connection with the racist graffiti found in Ryerson’s halls by October – November at the latest. He also says a professor or teaching assistant will be suspended in connection with the incident.

David sees shit hitting the fan at Ryerson and says RyeSAC will not be immune.

“There will be a betrayal of some kind on the RyeSAC council,” he warned.

David also predicts that Cristina Ribeiro, vice president student life and events, will be the next RyeSAC president.

But other RyeSAC executives will not share her good fortune. David says that Vice President Finance and Services Derek Isber will have relationship problems that will keep him from attending meetings.

David also warns President Dave MacLean not to fail any of his courses and fears that MacLean may not finish his presidential term. “If he does finish, there won’t be any fanfare,” says David.

David advises Ryerson to start looking at other solutions for Metropolis (the hole in the ground at the corner of Yonge and Dundas streets). It is eventually supposed to be a theatre complex that Ryerson students will have classes in.

“The school may have a contract, but it’s not going to go anywhere for lack of funds … that theatre is not going to be equipped to handle classes for students,” he says.

Excited about the new Starbucks on campus? David says: Enjoy it while it lasts. “Starbucks will last maybe the school year. It won’t make money. Students aren’t going to pay four dollars for a cup of coffee that tastes like cigarette butts,” the psychic says.

David sees that students will need to watch their step with all the maintenance and construction on campus. He also fears that food preparation in the cafeteria may not be up to par this year.

“Everyone needs to be careful working at the campus food facilities. A few people in the winter may find that they’re sick from eating there.”

David cites respiratory health and air quality issues. He foresees that there will be an attempt to fix these maintanance issues. Eggy aficionados should fear not, because David sees that our school mascot will not suffer any more brutal kidnappings this year.

But David warns Ryerson engineers: It will be very difficult to take the University of Toronto’s beaver mascot this year.

“I don’t expect a Ryerson engineering student to know what to do with a beaver,” he says.

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