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By Maurice Cacho

Associate News Editor

Steve Jobs actually cried in a parking lot once when a deal fell through.

Pussy. Starting in February, Jobs’ Apple Computer Inc. will feature Intel chips inside select computers, including the MacBook Pro and the sleek, self-contained iMac.

Apples are no longer limited to the IBM PowerPC chips, which had been used nearly exclusively. These processors moved at glacial speeds when compared to the latest offerings from Intel. But, I don’t agree with Apple’s new slogan.

“What’s an Intel chip doing in a Mac? A whole lot more than it’s ever done in a PC.”

According to a ZDNet review of the new Intel-based iMac, that tagline is a complete lie. When running multiple programs, the Intel iMac performed like a turtle. It scored dead last, even when compared to its predecessor. Intel-powered PCs were over a minute faster.

Apple also seems so ashamed of the new MacBook Pro’s battery life it failed to mention it at the release. That’s like Honda not mentioning the fuel economy on a new Civic. It makes you wonder how bad it could be. Imagine a Civic that could barely get you to Spadina and back on a full tank.

Jobs was so busy putting up a fit and lining up a big announcement for this month’s Macworld conference that he forgot to make sure the product worked well. Apple jumped the gun on this one. The matrimony of Intel and Apple is proving as successful as Bennifer.

Before, we had two sexy stars; neither dominant, but both sufficient. Now, we have a squabble on the cover of magazines everywhere. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this won’t end in a nasty divorce, but my bet is that Jobs gets the kids.

Analogy lost. Jobs made the right decision to switch to Intel, but it’s not working out as well as it could. It needed more time.

Hopefully they’ll work out the bugs before people actually notice. If not, weepy Steve will be right back in some parking lot. Inspiring.

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