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By Dominique Blain


Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Oz, the land of ?ber-paranoia and doctrinal thought. OK, OK: it won’t be that bad. The Conservatives do actually tend to get into power every once in a while. It’s just a scary novelty to those of us young enough to only remember the white Michael Jackson.

Keep in mind that, when push comes to shove, this Conservative government is hanging by one tenuous thread. It really won’t be able to destroy Canada without destroying itself first. And the Liberals and NDP will be there, waiting with their registered guns at the ready, aiming at the lame duck that is our government.

The utter predatory nature of politics is what really scares me in the end, regardless of the level at which the game is played. That being said, the time has come to submit your nominations for positions in next year’s student union. In order to be a candidate, you basically need to be a full-time student and not have a criminal record.

How most politicians get through life without one is pretty remarkable, but I guess we’ve been witnessing how, federally at least, once you make it in, you’re pretty much set for life. In any case, go to the RSU’s offices on the third floor of the SCC and ask for a nomination package (you’ll need to know for which position you’re running) and have it filled out and submitted by Jan. 27 at 4 p.m.

I don’t suggest putting it off too long because you need to include a list of nominators — students who will vouch for you and sign to that effect. Presidential candidates will need 50 valid nominators. When you ask for your nomination package, make sure not to mention the Eyeopener.

When we said we were from theEyeopener, they wouldn’t give us a package. (So we went back later when the staff changed and pretended we were running.) (Maybe we are running.) I heartily suggest reading the package with some kind of bylaw guru, because the people who write these documents sure love the jargon.

Jargon to a politician is like sugar to Coke. One pretty much doesn’t exist without the other. In any case, don’t let the press (ahem) scare you off running for the Board of Directors or the executive board. I know we look like we’re out to get the RSU, but we’re only out to report news. It just so happens that news happens when the RSU screws up.

I’m sure the experience is actually enthralling and I wish us all the best of luck with our next government.

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