LABIA IN THE LIBRARY

In Arts & Life /

By Caitlin Low

I’m not some blonde-haired, blue-eyed 20-year-old porn fanatic. If I was, I wouldn’t admit it here.

But, the notion of getting caught by Ryerson staff looking at porn made me giggle. Plus, someone needed to test the limits of Ryerson’s ability to restrict the sites that students look at.

So I set off for the library with my friend Colleen, a connoisseur of porn if you will. We sat down at a computer at 10:35 p.m., and began our quest.

I realized trying this during the day might get us more attention, but that seems like such a rookie mistake.

We began in earnest. I don’t want to cause an uproar, but let’s just say that the first word I googled begins with a ‘p’ and ends with ‘ussy.’

Not surprisingly, this was very popular. I clicked on the first site that popped up: pussy.org. Nice name, good ring to it.

We got to the site, and looked at the pictures of multiple female parts and, of course, laughed. We heard whispering behind us and I looked to find two solemn looking girls giving us a pure dose of hater-ade.

“It’s for a story,” I stammered. Whatever. Pornography is the natural result when two beings — whether it be man and woman, man and man, woman and woman, woman and dog, or woman and cucumber — love each other enough to document it. Right?

I turned back to the computer screen and waited for the computer to self-destruct. Or go blind. Bored of the many vaginas, I clicked back, choosing our next destination: pussyluvers.com.

This pattern of clicking on adult sites and sitting idle went on for a solid 15 minutes and included sites such as: ratemycock.com, monstersofcock.com and the infamous pornotube.com.

Before you start click away you may want to check Ryerson’s policy guide on Internet use. It can be found online at: www.ryerson.ca/acs/usersguide.

Surprisingly the guidelines don’t expressly prohibit viewing pornographic or obscene sites. However if someone takes issue with the images on-screen it counts as a breach under Ryerson’s Discrimination and Harassment Policy.

If they had chosen to, those girls could have complained and then I would’ve been responsible for creating a “poisoned environment.” It states that consequences of going against the Code of Conduct (which includes the discrimination policy) while surfing the Web can lead to anything from restitution for those involved to complete expulsion. And trust me, the last thing you want to tell people is that you got expelled from university for looking at “2 girls, 1 cup.”

Despite the variety, if I had to choose the Mayor of Pornville, it would definitely be monstersofcock.com.

This isn’t because I’m a woman and like some good, veiny penis action between my legs, but because it was probably the most bad ass thing I have ever seen.

These guys had huge members — I’m talking Shaq-Attack huge. As we explored all of these sites, we sat waiting for some form of Internet police to pop out of nowhere, flash their flashlights in our eyes and exclaim that not only was my account suspended but so were we.

But aside from the cut-eye we received from the students behind us and our own personal guilt from looking at those sinful images, nothing happened. I was kind of shocked, but I had to know for sure, so I went to the technology help desk and approached Cam Shahid.

I asked him about how Ryerson polices students looking at offensive material. “I walk around, and I check things out,” Shahid said.

As for an “internal” system at Ryerson to monitor the things that students look at, he simply said that, “it was hard to filter out that stuff.” Shahid was reluctant to mention past offenses that people have committed but assured me that if there was a student body complaint, Ryerson would address it.

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