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A MONSTER PLAN

John Mather

Editor-in-Chief

This week, the Eyeopener is running the second part of an investigative series into Ryerson’s Master Plan.

The plan is serious stuff: President Sheldon Levy and company want to literally reinvent the school.

They’ve got the property and they’ve got the funding, so in a perfect world it would be time fire up some bulldozers tear Sam’s down.

But they can’t just yet. Two giant discs, basking in their fluorescent glory, mock Levy and impede his plan.

In a world of pragmatists, the iconic Sam the Record Man sign would be quickly shredded for scrap metal.

But nostalgia reigns, and the beasts are protected under heritage legislation.

This is a problem in need of a completely impractical — dare I say ridiculous — solution.

Over a few pints the other week, I devised my own Monster Plan for Maple Leaf Gardens.

I say, let’s turn this fallen hockey shrine into a giant collage of heritage signs and sites.

Loblaws is letting the legendary arena sit idle, and there are a host of other Toronto heritage properties that I’m sure stand in the way of progress.

So behold: My creation. Casa Loma is a useless ornament that is best placed on top of the Gardens.

Honest Ed’s is simply an eyesore.

And the Skydome fans don’t belong at a place now dubbed the Rogers Centre.

As for Massey Hall, its sign just fills out the collection nicely.

Ridiculous, maybe. But just as practical as tearing down Kerr Hall.

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