By John Mather
Either 10 per cent of Ryerson students are naive and really enjoy nude water polo, or that 10 per cent likes pissing all over their loved ones.
In the Eyeopener’s annual Love & Sex survey, watersports – the act of gleefully drenching a partner in urine – ranked sixth as the most popular turn-on.
However, the newspaper is unsure whether respondents confused the classic golden shower with the more wholesome hot tub sex.
The survey asked 60 women and 40 men a series of questions about sexuality.
Unfortunately, the vast majority of respondents were straight, with only three gay people, two bisexuals and two asexuals filling out the sheet.
If one in ten of these students enjoy salty, ammonia-infused passion, one in three students like uniforms. That’s right, by far the most popular turn-on was uniforms – likely anything from standard nurse and construction worker outfits to SS officers and arctic explorers.
Thirty per cent fancied dressing up, while a further 26 per cent wanted to role play too. Rounding out the fetishes, 20 per cent were into older women/men, 19 per cent were turned on by lace, and 11 per cent liked dildos and other sex toys.
One female survey taker indicated that scat (feces) turned her on “fo sho.” This respondent was in a relationship, as were 43 per cent of those surveyed. Most were in long-term relationships.
For the single respondents, the most common reason for lonely Friday nights was that they were searching for the right person, while 14 per cent had no time for a significant other.
Seventy-three per cent of the student body are not virgins. Most of these students swiped their V-card between the ages of 15 and 18. Though, one student lost her virginity at 12, another was 9. Yikes.
The virgin repsondents (23 per cent) rarely answered the questions about favourite sexual position and most adventurous place to have sex. (One person remained undecided about his virginity).
Those who did take pleasure in getting pleasured provided rather unexciting positions and places.
Here are the top six adventurous places where students had sex:
6: The Gulf of Corinth
5: On a ski hill
4: Side of the main road up north, with cars passing by. Girl on top.
3: In a car on a boat with about 100 people on it.
2: On a tractor tire.
Most students (58 per cent) are looking for personality in a potential sex mate, though 13 per cent admitted they go for eye candy over a witty sense of humour.
Ten per cent wanted to have sex with your brain, saying that intelligence turns them on the most. Remarkably, none of the respondents who look for intelligence in a partner were turned on by water sports.
The virgins didn’t dig R. Kelly’s vibes either – they frequently selected uniforms as a turn on.
One virgin, clearly agitated by the sex questions, wrote he was fond of “naked karaoke (shut up).”