Briefs & Groaners

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A roundup of some of the shadier — and odd — things that happen around Ryerson’s downtown campus.

According to social scientists, attention spans are said to be getting shorter. But things must be getting drastic. A student who felt he was waiting too long for a friend to sign him into residence decided the most effective thing to do was charging the elevator doors. Staff had to hold him back. We can only guess that the doors were painted red.

A driver who refused to pay her fee at the 300 Victoria Street parking garage was so annoyed that security had to be called. The passenger ended up giving the booth attendant $15, who gave change back to the driver, who responded by throwing the change back at the attendant. If she was that bothered about money, you think she would have kept it.

A Quidditch game in the quad was rudely interrupted when a cock-apoo, which apparently is some kind of dog, stole a ball. When the owner was asked to put the whatever-it-is on a leash, he became uncooperative, so security was called. He was escorted and barred from the campus, but not before he told the security team that they were only in their current job because they failed the police testing. May be true, but we’re betting that at least they don’t have a dog called a cock-a-poo.

A car that had its engine running and doors unlocked was found during a security patrol in the 300 Victoria Street parking garage. It was parked across 3 parking spaces. Toronto police were notified but it wasn’t reported as stolen. The car’s owner later came to reclaim his car. Turns out he’d been extremely excited because he had a ticket to a prescreening of the new ‘Wizard Boy’ film, and was in a hurry. So much of a hurry that he left his car running in a public space. Additionally, this man turned out to be 38-years-old.

A bird was found stuck in a men’s bathroom in Kerr Hall North. After a muffin near a window didn’t coax it out, a blanket was used to confuse the bird enough to get it outside. Maybe they should have used a danish instead.

— Lee Richardson

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