Briefs & Groaners

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A roundup of some of the shadier — and just plain odd — things that happen around Ryerson’s downtown campus


On Jan. 16, students walking down Dalhousie Street were approached by an individual aggressively asking for money. When they refused’ he spat on one of them. They attempted to apprehend the individual and pursued him all the way to the Esso gas station. One of the students sustained minor injuries in the chase and Toronto Police later arrested the spitter. This is why we at the Eyeopener are all strong advocates for swallowing.

A laptop was stolen from the library on Jan. 19. The laptop was actually signed out using a stolen Ryerson OneCard and never returned. Approximate value of the laptop? $1,800. Getting into Briefs and Groaners? Priceless.

On Jan. 20, items were stolen from a student’s locker in the RAC. Items missing included his winter clothing. Security provided him with a taxi fare so he could make it home without freezing his balls off. Two words: dick move.

A student’s iPhone was stolen from the tenth floor of the library on Jan. 21. Though it was right in front of her while she worked, it was snatched anyway. While pursuing the individual who was in the next aisle over. she yelled at the him to drop her phone and he did. Security searched but did not find the individual. Maybe he was a sympathetic criminal. Or a pussy.

On the first floor of Kerr Hall South, a security notice board had its glass shattered on Jan. 21. It appeared that someone had taken a Ryersonian newsstand and thrown it at the board, causing the damage. Geez guys, we know the Sonian sucks, but don’t take it out on Kerr Hall.

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