By Justin Chandler
Unless you’re in engineering, you just got off reading week — everyone knows that reading week is code for “do everything but your assignments.” If you’re a dedicated procrastinator (as most of us are) you probably channeled all of your time and energy into doing the following unproductive things over the past seven days:
1. Visiting with friends from other schools
You haven’t seen your high school friends in months and taking the time to do so was worth not studying over, right? You caught up on your programs, the clubs you may or may not have joined and all of your drunken university tales. Although you could have hung out with them for days, they probably ended up ditching you to write an essay because they go to “real schools.” Guess who just got uninvited to your New Year’s party?
2 Enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner several times
You stuffed yourself silly at Thanksgiving and spent next three days pigging out on leftovers. Turkey, cranberry sauce, apple cider and pumpkin pie repeatedly graced your plate. Calorie counting is for nerds and you aren’t a nerd.
3. Started paying attention to the election
Why study when your city needs you? You decided it was time to pick a candidate to root for in the election. When you picked up the newspaper and started searching on Google, you were shocked to learn about what Doug Ford just said, devastated by Olivia Chow’s performance in the debate and generally confused about John Tory. After finally making up your mind, you learned you have to vote for a school board trustee and a city councillor too. Democracy is hard.
4. Listened to the Awesome Mix Vol. 1
You were hooked on a feeling all week long and you didn’t care. Damn those songs are good!
5. Picked your Halloween costume
Forget homework, it’s almost Halloween! This year you want to dress up as something that won’t get you arrested. You looked in the stores and searched for the best costume ideas online, then discovered that everything good is too expensive to buy and too hard to make. You can always stay home and eat candy. Dressing up is for kids, anyways.
6. Started your holiday wish list
You began typing your report and before you knew it, you were online shopping. You started a wish list because it’s never too early to tell everyone what they should buy you this year.
7. Questioned Stephen Harper
Why, Steve? Why?
8. Considered going outside
Reading Week is the perfect time to start exercising again — in theory. You were going to go to the gym, but you had too much to eat. You were going to go for a run, but it was too cold. You were about to do a push-up, but The Walking Dead was on. At least you tried…in your mind.