Photo: Farnia Fekri

Down with Dara: Save the day with ass play

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By Bahoz Dara

We are currently in an ass-obsessed era, with celebrities like Kim Kardashian, and Nicki Minaj ruling the media, it is hard not to become infatuated with a nice backside. Many people, much like myself, can appreciate this booty-ful trend. It leads me to question why it is that despite constant booty appeal, a larger percentage of the population isn’t engaging in butt play, and why does it still come with such taboo?

By taking part in various conversations on the topic of anal stimulation, I have mostly encountered three different types of people. First, there are those who remain sheltered and assume that anyone who goes near the backdoor are intense nymphomaniacs and kink freaks; they like to think that no “normal” couple would ever take part.

Then there are the ever popular moderately homophobic and insecure individuals who assume that any booty action is strictly to be performed on a female in a heterosexual union, or a gay male, and if you even slightly graze a straight man’s asshole it automatically makes him raging homosexual.

Lastly there are the best type of people, those who know that butt play is actually just a form of sexual expression, which all people of different sexual orientations can enjoy, because I mean…what is there not to like? Why is anal stimulation so cool, and what does it entail? It’s time to explore the magical realm of the booty.

Let’s start standard, the initial step in anal stimulation (or any sexual activity) is asking for your partner’s consent. As I always mention, and cannot stress enough, make sure all parties are on the same page, and there is a mutual respect of their wants, and boundaries. Ultimately, your potential butt buddy has to be more than willing to get their ass poked and prodded.  Next, when all blurred lines have been abolished, to physically commence butt play, one would normally start by massaging their partner’s anus a.k.a butthole.

This action is not only pleasurable, but it also allows both the person and their anus to relax, thus making future penetration much easier and more enjoyable. Also, prior to penetration many people like to engage in anilingus: The act of performing oral sex on the anus and within the canal, or to put into layman’s terms “eating ass”.

This much like massaging the area gives a lot of positive stimulation, and relaxation, however there is also the added visual appeal, which with any sexual deed is a major component, don’t forget the brain is the most influential sexual organ!

Once your partner is at ease and ready you can begin to slowly penetrate the anus and enter the anal canal; this can be done with smaller toys or fingers, whatever your choose just remember to use lube… a lot of it, it will hurt like hell if you go in dry.

Now, slowly get the sphincter muscle accustomed to grasping the object, and once the anus is stretched out you can introduce motions and rhythms. Do so until both you and your partner feel ready to insert either a bigger toy such as a strap-on, or a penis into their anal cavity, seriously though guys please do not forget to lube it up with a generous portion of whatever lubricant of your choosing.

Once again, let the sphincter stretch accordingly prior to introducing motions, basically let their butthole adjust before you start pounding away like you’re attempting to get a rusty nail in a block of oak.

Furthermore, another inquiry I have come across numerous times is that why would both males and females want to engage in anal sex?  What many people don’t know is that both sexes can experience immense sexual gratification via anal stimulation, so much so that they can even be brought to orgasm. No it’s not a mental thing; it’s actually just simple anatomical fact. There are multiple nerve endings around the anus and in the anal cavity, what is practically a gold mine for pleasure for both sexes.

Along with these a great deal of nerve endings, both sexes also acquire positive attributes that assist in anal stimulation. The female body has a very thin layer of skin separating the vagina and anal cavity, making it possible to arouse the g-spot and vaginal nerve endings while simultaneously stimulating those in the anus and anal canal. It can incredibly intense, and gratifying especially if paired with external play, it’s sort of like a big beautiful bundle of pleasure from the clitoris to the ass.

However it’s the males who that actually do acquire an organ inside the rectum, which can cause them to reach an almighty orgasm; the prostate/p-spot can bring even the biggest most stereotypically “manly” dude to his knees from such a powerful climax.

That’s the best part of exploring all the booty has to provide, it’s incredibly gender neutral. Both sexes can enjoy very similar stimulation; none of that penis, cock, dick, vs. vagina, pussy action here, it’s all just ass which you all have, and that’s kind of a beautiful thing.

It’s a very even playing field, in which every sex, and sexual orientation can appreciate. With all the perks anal sexual activities have to provide, why would anyone ever want to stigmatize such a great thing? It’s time to throw society’s caution to the wind, and go to your local sex shop to pickup some butt plugs, anal beads, prostate massagers, a strap-on, and did I mention Lube?

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