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Down With Dara: Let’s end the sad tropes of sex culture

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By Bahoz Dara

There are days where I hate sex culture; there are no genuine regulations within it, and thus it just feels like an ongoing mess of catastrophic confusion.

I suppose I shouldn’t generalize the overall idea as “sex culture” but more so my sex culture; the entire concept of casual sex is so subjective, that I doubt I could categorize it for the entire spectrum of participants.

To start sex is the bee’s knees; it’s a given that when everyone who is taking part is enjoying themselves, it becomes one of the most physically satisfying activities out there.

Despite the tremendous joy sex can bring, there are a few aspects within casual sex culture that I feel need to cease at once.

Let’s begin with the most and somehow least obvious: stop having mediocre sex.  If the sex is dull, boring, and with a partner you don’t’ really care for, you need to pump your breaks. I feel like I’ve seen so many people who will stay in some sort of sexual partnership solely for the purpose of having someone there to consistently be fucking.

Stop indulging this human equivalent to bleached flour, they’re boring and they’re awful; unsatisfying sex isn’t worth it, especially when it is with someone who has no meaning in your life.

Please just stop wasting your time and degrading the quality of sexual intercourse for yourself; speaking from personal experience even bad sex has been more mentally stimulating than bland sex, it at least provides room for growth and some comedic relief.

Another strange component that is just dying to be eliminated from all sexual encounters is lying. If you are legally able to engage in sex, you are also hopefully at the maturity level that allows you to be honest with both your partner and yourself.

Why are you lying about your feelings? Why are you not being honest with the amount of other people you’re also seeing (or lack there of?) It’s baffling how discouraged honesty is within casual sex relationships.

Don’t misread what I’m attempting to convey – everyone is more than welcome to proclaim their discomfort with certain questions or topics and can refuse to partake in the conversation, but just for the love of all that is good and sexy, stop the weird, quasi-malicious, insecurity-fueled games.

Speaking of insecurities, this brings me to my next point: don’t immerse yourself within sex culture if you’re going to allow your self-worth to correlate with your sexual endeavors.

Your sex life has nothing to do with your value as a person, and they shouldn’t constantly ignite insecure thoughts. As long as everything acted out has the required permission, and a standard sense of mutual respect, no one’s ego should be bruised.

More often than not, things won’t work out with your fuck-buddy accordingly. But this does not mean it is related to major flaws within yourself. In a case like this, one should either stop blaming themselves or divert away from partaking in flings until they’re ready to stop taking things personally.

Lastly, please attempt to end any disregard you may have for safety. I realize not everyone enjoys using protection, but it will save you a lot of stress if you incorporate some sort of barrier in order to reduce the risk of STIs, whether that be a male/female condom, a dental dam, a finger cot, a biohazard suit or all of the above.

Although if you have made the conscious decision to avoid these lovely products, then a free check-up at your local clinic every now and then would be lovely, and not to mention responsible.

Now go forth my readers, and stop the madness!


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