Don’t cry for me, Eye-gentina

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By Mohamed Omar

I’ve been thinking about this final editorial ever since I was elected as The Eyeopener’s editor-in-chief in March 2014.

What do I write? Do I list our accomplishments this year? Our biggest stories? Our most controversial reports? A bunch of words that rhyme with fart? Or do I write about the role of a student newspaper on campus and the responsibilities of student journalists?

For inspiration, I looked at the final editorials of previous editors, all the way back to 1998 (stuff got weirder beyond that, because the nineties).

Some wrote a regular opinion piece on something that was big that week. Some (rightfully) complained about Ryerson and how it had messed something up. Others talked about the student union’s fuck-ups actions.

All of them were dandy editorials, but none were true to what a departing editor-in-chief really wants to write. None of them expressed what I believe was going through their (and now my) head: Fuck, I have to leave now?

The Eyeopener taught me everything I think I know about journalism, from writing a coherent and interesting story to properly editing a photograph to managing a herd of ridiculously talented editors. The school, which has to accommodate all kinds of learning curves, did not. It tried to spoon-feed me lessons — The Eyeopener shoved them down my throat and gave me a beer or seven as a chaser.

This place gave me great friends and taught me how to work with all kinds of people. It taught me to be patient, to care more and, much to the chagrin of rapper Big Sean, to fuck with you.

This place taught me to appreciate attention to detail, to praise the weird and — cliché time! — question everything, my sanity included.

I’ve had the greatest job in the universe for the past eight months and it’s hard to leave. But I will leave — OK, technically I have to — because change is good. Change brings fresh blood. Change keeps this place from rotting into a crusty carcass of amateurism, or worse — becoming part of the journalism school.

I wish incoming editor and human-slinky Sean Wetselaar and everyone on future mastheads the best of luck and life at The Eyeopener. This place is more magical than Hogwarts on acid.

But before I leave, I’ll drop off some pearls of wisdom that I’ve collected over the past five years:

1) Grown-ups do not always know what they’re doing or saying. Kind of like you!

2) Make fun of yourself as much as you can.

3) People will doubt you. Take that doubt and convert it into raw I’m-going-to-prove-you-so-fucking-wrong motivation. It works!

4) Old people are in charge of a lot of things and a lot of them don’t do things right. Not for long!

5) Save money. Unless you can’t. Then save only a little money. If that’s impossible, well, shit.

6) Life after Ryerson isn’t the worst. At least I hope it isn’t.

7) People remember everything you’ve said and done to them. Keep that in mind no matter where you are. Bye!

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