Fresh meat and the art of sex in res

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By Bahoz Dara

The school year has commenced, the SLC has become overrun by commuters, the line for the bookstore is unbearably long, and the dorms are compiled of bright eyed, barely legal scholars who want nothing more than to leave their secondary school days behind and flourish in the fresh university atmosphere.

Could this be what residence life is like? An ambience of well-mannered youth, who are nothing but studious and academically focused? Although marketed as such, and highly appealing in the brochure, let it be known that anyone who has ever had the pleasure of residing in university housing will never fail to describe it as a cramped hostel filled with horny underage drinkers. Every student residence building is a war zone.

As frightening as it may seem, there are numerous methods that can allow one to come out of this hormone-riddled cesspool alive and preferably unharmed. First and foremost, obtain consent, and stay safe. Do not forget that only yes means yes, and any other blurred line should be taken as refusal. Do not be afraid to ask for consent.

This is of the utmost importance. Also, be responsible, this city is riddled with sexual health clinics, it is your responsibility to ensure both your own safety and that of your partner’s.

Upon arriving to post secondary, many students want nothing more than to dive into the social activities and interact with others. However, it always seems that there are few students who will put their mingling on hold, in order to get into some quasi-relationship with someone they just met.

Guys, as appealing as the love between two almost-adults is, it’s best to wait a month or two before tying yourself down to one of the three Nicoles (last name unknown) that live on your floor. Realistically, if you could avoid fucking anyone on your floor altogether, that would prevent a lot of unnecessary headache. 

If you do initiate some great floor divide because your genitals were raging and you exclusively required the assistance of one of the other Nicoles, do not fear your floor can be salvaged. The best way to go about these situations is maturity; always be the bigger person. The dramatics of your peers will pass. There is no need to prolong discomfort by engaging in petty gossip, or arguments. Sex is sex. Sometimes you’ll sleep with someone and the situation won’t play out accordingly. It happens, the key is to remain respectful.

There are numerous other instances where respect is a major component. For example, those with a roommate and a high libido, please forewarn them about your upcoming sexcapades. Those who are loud, either muffle your noises or arrange a time to get nasty that doesn’t completely offput those studying for their finals. Those who bring people home from some horrendous first year nightclub, attempt to guarantee that this person you just met will respect your possessions and that of the person you share a room with. These are nothing but a few of many scenarios in which you must take the feelings and comfort of others into account.  

Overall, the sex you have in first year will be a learning experience. Making mistakes is inevitable, but there is no harm in taking a few precautions.

Bahoz Dara is the Eyeopener’s sex columnist. She is published online every Thursday night.

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