Photo Skyler Ash

Things to think about while you wait

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By Skyler Ash

Humans spend a large amount of their lives waiting. We wait in lines, at stoplights, for trains, for phone calls, for the doctor, for the dentist, for your friend to finally get ready and just PICK A PURSE ALREADY, LINDA!

In those solitary, painstaking moments of boredom, there’s a lot we could be thinking about. Below is a list of all the things you could think about while you wait!

FOOD: Why aren’t there more flavours of cotton candy? Whatever happened to Count Chocula cereal? What if water only came in gas form? Why is lettuce called lettuce, but called salad if you add dressing? Why do we call it salsa if salsa in Spanish just means ‘sauce’?

ENTERTAINMENT: Why did they wait so long to decide to make an Incredibles 2? Did Lady Gaga eat any of the meat she wore from that dress five years ago at the VMAs? What other organic materials could she wear? Why is Neil Patrick Harris’ family so adorable? Were Ross and Rachel really on a break?

SCHOOL: Why is Kerr Hall laid out like that? Why is it called Lake Devo if it’s not really a lake? Why do textbooks cost so much? How do the engineers get stickers in such weird places? Why did I ever complain that high school was hard?

CHILDHOOD: Why did I think being a detective was such a popular job? How did staying under your blanket protect you from monsters? Why were vegetables so gross? Why did I hate naps? What did I think happened when I fell asleep on my couch and woke up in my bed?

PRESSING MATTERS: Why are you reading this? What are you actually supposed to be doing right now?

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