Briefs & groaners: Nov. 18

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Your weekly recap of the strange and unusual things that happened on campus:

> Dead Raccoon TO haunts Kerr Hall

Remember Toronto raccoon? The little guy that died on the street and Torontonians set up a memorial for?

His reincarnation was found in Kerr Hall. [Ghost] Raccoon was “guided out,” according to security. He defo needed the guiding because not even Siri, Google Maps and a compass can get you out of that hell hole.

> I want to ride [someone else’s] bicycle! I want to ride [someone else’s] bike!

A man was reported jumping around Ryerson’s bike racks in  an attempt to pry them off and steal ‘em. Buddy clearly never got that red shiny bike for Christmas and is now seeking revenge.

> Man wants a stapler for Christmas

A fella burst into ILLC, ran up to the front desk, yelled and tried to steal the stapler.

Fella was probably brothers with the bike guy above. Maybe they were just doin’ a little Christmas shopping on the Ryerson campus — getting their aunt Pearl a stapler and cousin Stefano a new bike.

> Puppy makes man scared

A man pressed the blue light near the Quad after a dog “charged into his personal space, while exercising.”

Charged into his personal space? More like made your personal space better. I would love if a dog interrupted my workout!

But I guess some people are cats.

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