Robert Mackenzie won't step down


‘He’s just not funny anymore’

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By Pew Chalmers

The Ryerson community is calling for The Eyeopener’s fun editor to resign amidst recent evidence of an embezzlement scheme.

“This whole scam of dirty money has completely changed the way I view the section,” said Maggie Gorman, a regular fun reader. “He’s just not funny anymore.”

Two weeks ago, an Eyeopener Funvestigation revealed that more than $250,000 of Funvertisement revenue was unaccounted for. Last week, Lovebug*, a source who was directly involved in Funvertisement development and production, revealed that fun editor Robert Mackenzie had been illegally pocketing a percentage of profit from each Funvertisement. Lovebug also said that Mackenzie had been charging the paper “travel expenses” for his weekend getaways to Hamilton.

This week, Mackenzie spoke publically about the charges against him for the first time at a press conference outside of the Sally Horsfall building. “I have worked diligently to bring the fun section out of the dark ages and I don’t plan on handing over my successes anytime soon,” he said.

Unfortunately for Mackenzie, the press conference hasn’t removed the public outcry as the evidence against him continues to grow.

“This kind of greed is disgusting,” third-year biology student Trey Dillon said after the conference. “We can’t trust him anymore. He needs to be fired.”

Mackenzie is currently under contract until the end of the school year. Protestors are demanding the editor to resign by the end of the fall semester.

In the thick of the mayhem, several editors at The Eyeopener have joined the campaign to have their colleague resign. “As journalists, there’s no way we can support the lying, cheating and stealing that Robert has perpetuated this year,” said sports editor Devin Jones.  “We are asking him to resign and not to further diminish our paper’s integrity.”

It appears that Mackenzie has no plans to step down from his role as fun editor. The public will next hear from Mackenzie in the bi-annual State of the Fun Section address next week.

*The source’s name has been changed to protect their identity

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