Photo: Annie Arnone

Briefs & groaners

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> Enraged man hurls coffee at student
Some douche threw a cuppa’ hot Joe at some dude in Yonge-Dundas Square. If that wasn’t bad enough, the poor dude was then threatened with a metal bar. Geez Louise. Don’t you hate it when Tim Hortons screws up your order?

> Partially naked dancing dude spotted on Gould Street
A man was reported exposing his goods (which weren’t that good) on Gould Street. When security arrived, he was no longer naked. He was, however, found dancing. Let your freak flag fly, you dancing queen.

> You wanna go, bro?
Security removed Ryerson’s very own He-Man from the Mattamy Athletic Centre after he was caught yelling, “Who wants to fight?” indiscriminately. His motives were unclear, but we’re guessing it’s something to do with his manhood.

> Coffee crusader
A man stole straws from the SLC Starbucks and threw garbage everywhere. He’s probably pissed about the cafe’s recent “War on Christmas” or whatever.

> Two peas in the pod
After a commotion in the podium was reported, a couple was found #bangaranging in a washroom. However, their love was fleeting, as they refused to identify themselves and immediately fled campus.

Seen some crazy shit on campus? Let us know. Email news@theeyeopener.com

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