By Premila D’Sa
Having to go to the washroom on campus is never a positive experience. But no matter how hard you try to avoid it, you’ll eventually have to use one. Sometimes it just so happens that your digestive cycle decides to reach its inevitable end in the middle of your four-hour lecture. You just can’t hold it in anymore. Smiling poop emojis are everywhere taunting you. And there’s nothing worse than being at your most vulnerable state and entering the land of strange smells and one-ply toilet paper.
So when the day does come, here are the best washrooms on campus to do your thing.
The Student Learning Centre
The chances are, you’re probably already here like half of Ryerson. But the trick to a pleasant SLC washroom experience is finding the ones on the quieter floors: think forest and sky. Avoid the beach at all costs. Like the rest of the building, the SLC washrooms have that nice modern aesthetic. The cheery colours will help set the mood. If you’re looking for a tranquil experience, the calming green of the forest floor (seventh) will get you there. If you need a little more energy, try the bright orange on the sun floor (fifth) for that extra boost to drop a deuce.
If your butt is too precious for that rough one-ply toilet paper that the common peasants at Ryerson use, this is where you belong. Since it’s where most department offices are located you may also run into some professors. Awkward urinal talk isn’t awkward anymore, it’s a free lecture! It’s probably still awkward though.
Using the toilet in this place is pretty cool when the dramatic soundtrack from a nearby theatre carries through. Suddenly, your casual pooping experience becomes a riveting, Oscar-worthy film. Lord of the Turds: Fellowship of the Two-ply. The washrooms here also have a nice little mirror area so that on your way out, you’re reminded of how sleep deprived you look.
The George Vari Engineering and Computing Centre
Home to the mysterious engineering students of Ryerson. There are a bunch of washrooms here to launch your astroturds. Be careful though, you could leave this place covered with RyEng stickers. They may run out of toilet paper, but they never seem to run out of those things.
The International Living Learning Centre
The ILLC is the finest residence on Ryerson for those who[se rich parents] can pay for it. But the ground floor washroom is available to everyone, and it’s magical. The toilet paper’s soft, the mirrors are always clean and it’s never crowded. Even that weird stall door gap problem is taken care of (because you know if you can see them, they can see you).