Toronto Metropolitan University's Independent Student Newspaper Since 1967

All Fun & Satire

10 thoughts every commuter has during winter rush hour

By Ruty Korotaev

1. Wow can’t wait to go stand in a stuffy subway for an hour, it’s going to be so fun hahaha *cries*
I honestly feel like I’m in the Second World War and being transported to go battle in the French trenches. Only I’m not. I’m just a whiny white girl taking the TTC.

2. Why did I wear so many layers???
It may be -10 outside, but the TTC has the heating up so high you’d think you’re right by the equator (well, I guess you wouldn’t because you’re sitting in some ratchet subway with a strange man next to you, but just go with the analogy).

3. At least this is better than walking.
Remember – it could always be worse. You could be walking outside in the cold, trying your best not to fall on the slippery streets, with the wind blowing into your face and freezing; tears rolling down your face.

4. I can’t believe I’m going through this just for a one-hour seminar.
I should get extra credit for my struggles.

5. How do all these fashion students manage to look so put-together and stylish? It’s way too cold to be pretty!
It makes no sense to me how some people can wear fancy trench coats and heeled boots and have their hair all put together when I’m here looking like a penguin, struggling to get up with all my layers.

6. I am sitting in a pool of my own sweat…
Why do I even bother showering anymore? Is this good for my pores? Did I remember to wear deodorant?

7. Is higher education really worth all of this?
I’m willing to sacrifice my GPA in order to avoid the TTC rush hours.

8. If they give one more announcement about how the subway is going to operate slower than usual… I swear I’m going to scream.
Maybe I’ll make the news – “BREAKING: exhausted Ryerson froshie goes on rampage after TTC announces delay.”

9. I really miss my personal space.
I forgot what it’s like to not have five strangers surrounding me on an overcrowded train. Will this subway ever get to Dundas??

10. We need another plague.
I totally get how plagues are really awful and all, but I am honestly willing to take one for the damn team in order to keep the world population down and therefore, keep the TTC empty. I don’t know how many people also have this mentality, but home girl is ready. Come on, science. Bring on the next plague. I volunteer as tribute.

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