By Ian Yamamoto
Toronto local Francis Polk is insistent that the small $15 burger he just purchased from popular food truck, Mad Cow, was worth the price.
The burger, technically a slider, consists of a smaller than average beef patty, a single leaf of romaine lettuce, and one of three mayonnaises atop a store-bought bun.
When asked why pay $15 for such a small portion, Polk replied, “Because it’s cool, it’s artisanal. Look how many piercings that line cook has. Look how hot that cashier with the fuchsia hair is. Look at the crazy-long line-up. I had to use both my breaks and my lunch just to get my hands on this.”
Sources report Polk grinning broadly as he took out the designer toothpick holding the burger together. His smile appeared to fade a bit after his first bite and left his face altogether after he finished the burger with a second bite. Polk then stared downcast into space until his phone beeped, prompting him to get back to the office.
When asked about the burger later, Polk replied, “It tasted pretty good. I think it was a pretty fair price. It was a pretty fun lunch.”
When asked if he would eat at Mad Cow again, Polk would not answer and as questioning continued he became irritated. “What do I care what you think? If I want to spend a little extra for a higher quality meal, I’m going to do it. Now get the hell out of my office.”
Coworkers later confirmed Polk’s a real dick when he’s hungry.