Photo: Devin Jones

Love and sex by the numbers: survey results

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We asked for it and you gave it to us. Here’s what we learned about you dirty fuckers from our annual Love and Sex survey. May you fuck well and may you always remember to say, “Thanks, keep it comin’,” after sex.

Have you ever been injured during sex?

“I hit my head off my partner’s headboard changing positions. Hurt really bad but we shrugged it off and kept going. Woke up in the middle of the night vomiting, so I went to the doctor the next day—turns out I got a concussion.”

“He kneed me in the balls. Repeatedly. I’m on top from now on.”

“Girl riding reverse cowgirl slipped off and crushed my dick.”

“Only my HEART.”

“I got hit in the face by a crotch bone, my lip was bleeding.”

46.2% of respondents have never been cheated on. About 36 per cent have been. Roughly 18 per cent said they’ve cheated on someone.

About 62 per cent of respondents plan on getting married. Twenty-one per cent don’t. About 17 per cent will only marry someone if they’re rich.

73.3% of respondents would rather have sweaty bathroom sex with The Eyeopener than go for dinner and a movie with The Ryersonian.

We asked you to TALK DIRTY TO US….

“Independent hard-hitting journalism makes the ladies’ panties get wet. I touch myself to your RSU-related live tweet sessions.”

“The dirtiest thing is what the capitalist system does to us on a daily basis.”

“Push me up against the wall and lift me up so my legs wrap around your waist. Carry me to the bed and throw me onto the mattress. Rip my underwear off my hips and spread my legs. Spread my soft pink pussy lips with your finger and then your tongue. I want you to taste me while I scream your name and cum on your tongue.”

“What I do have is a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. If you don’t come over soon, I will look for you, I will find you and I will fuck the brains out of you.”

“The RSU’s financial records.”

“You can open my eyes and legs any time you want.”

”Buy me a drink first.”


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