By Melissa Salamo
Working out is supposed to be a stress reliever. There is no better way to let out some pent-up anger from a long day. People go to the gym for different reasons, whether it’s because your prof was an ass, your roommate threw a party the night before your midterm or debt’s racking up. Or maybe you simply just want to look fly AF (but purely for yourself). Not for anyone else in particular (of course not…).
However, there are some things that everyone gets pissed about at the gym, that actually get you even more stressed out than before. So, I’m here to help you deal with different types of annoying people at the gym.
- The “new year, new me” people.
Situation: at the beginning of each year people fall into the whole “new year, new me” bullshit. It’s right about then that walking into the gym feels like walking into a jar of sardines. You just stand at the entrance in awe thinking: what the fuck … when did all these people even learn how to use these machines?!
Solution: At this point your best bet is to take a picture, post it on your story, reverse, curse and leave.
- The “how many more sets do you have” people.
Situation: You cannot say you have been to the gym and not encountered at least one of the “how many more sets do you have” people. These are usually subjects that see you just got on the machine and wonder if you are almost done.
Solution: To be honest, don’t be honest. Say this is the only machine you’ll be doing and have to do it consecutively because you’re chiropractor has told you do so to help treat your injury. They’ll feel bad and leave you alone.
- The smelly people. The REALLY smelly people.
Situation: You’re halfway through your workout and someone starts using the machine next to you. You start smelling a weird mixture of onions and garlic, but in a bad way. You begin to freak out wondering if you’re starting to smell. But the guy next to you lifts up his arms and the scent penetrates straight into your lungs. Oh, the joy of that hairy, moist armpit smell!
Solution: ALWAYS have deodorant with you. Do your lungs and the guy a favour by giving him an early birthday present. He won’t be offended at all, in fact he’ll be flattered, and you will be able to somewhat breathe again. Sometimes though, this alone does not work. So bring a shaver as well, just in case.
- The insanely loud grunters.
Situation: There is always that one person (sometimes several) that enjoy announcing that they have begun working out. These sounds sometimes make you extremely uncomfortable and no matter how loud you play your music, you always get a little hint of it. Come on, is this person really working out, or practicing their oral skills…
Solution: Join them. There’s absolutely no way of blocking them out, so try it as well. You’ll be grunting buddies and your role is no longer to get irritated, but to indulge in the pleasures of grunting.
So that’s about it. This is the ultimate guide for dealing with annoying people at the gym. Use these tips, and you’ll run the gym!