Illustration: Sierra Bellmore

Ryerson’s new celeb chef can cook semi-edible Chinese-Italian food

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By Skyler Ash

After making a semi-edible meal for his friends at his Pitman Hall dorm, Jonathan Johns, a first-year economics student, is launching his own cooking show.

What he calls a “Chinese-Italian fusion unlike any you’ve seen before” first came to be on a cold night in early March, when Johns ran out of regular pasta but had a lot of spaghetti sauce on hand.

“My good pals Marco and Ralph were coming over for a light meal before we hit the club,” said Johns, “And I knew I needed to pull out all the stops, because these are some top-notch friends.”

Furiously rifling through his cupboards, Johns came across some egg noodles and a can of crushed tomatoes. Realizing how little time he had before his friends would be there, he got to work.

“So I’m boiling the water for the noodles and I add a pinch of salt, because I always see chefs doing that, and I figure, ‘Johny, you’re wearing an apron, you might as well act like a chef’,” said Johns.

As the noodles were cooking, Johns got a light carbonara sauce going, and things got, “a little spicy! That’s all I’m going to say.”

When pals Marco Frito and Ralph Begone arrived at Johns’ room, the party, it seemed, had already begun.

“The whole place smelled like I was in both and Italy and China at the same time,” said Frito. “I mean, I prefer French cuisine, but this was OK, I suppose.”

After plating the dishes and grating some “fresh as fuck parm” onto the finished result, the boys sat down to enjoy a nice meal together.

“They LOVED it!” said Johns. “They were all, ‘Johny, you gotta make this again!’ and so I figured, that’s it, that’s all I needed to finally start the cooking show I’ve been dreaming of.”

Johns’ cooking show, Johny Johns in the Kitchen, has been picked up by the Food Network, and will air on April 22.

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