Photo: Sarah Krichel

U of T students take their jealousy out on Steve Carell

In Fun & SatireLeave a Comment

Reading Time: 2 minutes

By Melissa Salamo

The University of Toronto (U of T) was offended by the Toronto International Film Festival’s (TIFF) decision to use Ryerson University’s theatre every year for the festival, and last weekend the university released a statement explaining that they will be “taking matters into their own hands.”

Ryerson’s theatre holds several TIFF screenings annually, but this year has been a particular struggle—including celebrity threats.

An egg was tossed at Steve Carell on the night of the screening of Battle of the Sexes. He was in utter shock.

“I tried to dodge that egg,” Carell said, twitching. “I even did the cha-cha like a silly girl.”

Carell has informed The Eyeopener that he is still recovering mentally, emotionally and physically.

Some of the more hardcore Carell fans have voiced their concerns.

“Not only does this give Ryerson a bad rep, but this probably means we might not be able to see any more Carell movies for years,” said first-year film student, Gillian Kay.

After days of watching Carell’s anguish on the news, two U of T students have claimed responsibility for this event—and seem to be planning the next one.

“We seriously cannot believe that TIFF organizers have not incorporated our campus yet,” U of T student, Jayden Lee said. “We’re hoping all actors get tired of being hit by eggs and eventually boycott the festival.”

Lee said he believes that this way organizers will be forced to bring TIFF to their campus.

Another Ryerson student, Karry White, said she witnessed the egging and that she was unprepared to see the horrific act.

“I’m seriously offended,” she said while tearing up. “How immature can they be?”

On the other hand, students like Joey Martis say they think people are overreacting.

“Honestly, people just need to chill out,” he said, emotionlessly. “Everyone gets overly offended nowadays…they’re too fragile. Like who cares if some celeb got hit by an egg. In the real world no one’s gonna give a shit.”

But for those students who do care, there is talk about holding a debrief and discussion at the theatre over the traumatic event.

Both universities’ presidents are scheduled to meet and discuss the matter this coming Friday.

Congratulations! If you’re reading this, you’ve made it to the end of this article. Full disclosure: none of what you just read is real. Satire is a noun that describes the use of humour, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues. Do the world a favour, share this story and try not to take the Fun and Satire section so seriously—we certainly don’t.

Leave a Comment