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Dear engineering students, Ryerson’s got your back

By Gabrielle Olano

Stress gets to the best of us, causing us to either break down or break it down on the dancefloor. In general, it drives us a little crazy. It’s different for everyone, but for the engineering students of Ryerson, algorithms and formulas have them crying and laughing at the same time as they bury their heads into their textbooks.

Luckily, Ryerson University has taken notice of these poor babies, and have come up with a solution that will calm them down when they desperately need it. The answer to their problems is no other than the Devil’s lettuce.

But it’s not just any type of cannabis you’d get from your local plug. It will be grown and raised in the George Vari building, the very home of our beloved engineering students, or rather on the roof of it. Like a rooftop garden, but with kush.

A third-year mechanical engineering student, who asked to remain anonymous, says he will definitely take advantage of this opportunity, noting that it is a “quick and easy way to feel better.”

Ryerson will take full responsibility for the funding of this project, as they simply want the best for their students. Ryerson will provide their home-grown weed to the ones who need it the most.

Exclusively selected staff will soon begin the growing process on the roof of the building and hope to have it ready for the students before exams.

“The students deserve to feel comfortable with their studies, rather than wanting to burn down the campus in a spur of anger and stress,” said Mohamed Lachemi, president of Ryerson University. “They want to graduate, not cry.”

However, students are encouraged to find other ways to rid of their stress, such as taking a walk in the quad or taking a nap in the SLC. Otherwise, get a quick high because Ryerson’s got you.

“Take a deep breath, future engineers, really inhale and exhale, until you blow all your troubles away along with the smoke,” says representative for the project, Chad Patterson.

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