EXCLUSIVE: Leaked draft of alternate names and mottos for Ryerson University

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By Rochelle Raveendran

As the “Standing Strong” task force continues studying Egerton Ryerson’s legacy and how it impacts the Indigenous community, The Eyeopener has obtained a copy of the committee’s brainstorming Google Doc of potential name changes for Ryerson University. The contents of the document are presented below in their entirety. 

Ontario Institute of Rat Kings 

  • Nos, et in servis suis Rodent
  • We, the servants of the Rodent 

Ted Rogers University of Management 

  • Sugere usque coniungere LinkedIn immani, impetibili simul
  • To suck up, to connect on LinkedIn, to be insufferable, together

McGill University, Toronto (McGUT)

  • Quod Harvard regio Dundas de North
  • The Harvard of the North Yonge-Dundas Area

Downtown Canada Academy 

  • U de T et dropouts a respuit united en virtus
  • U of T dropouts and rejects united in virtue 

Amazon Campus 

  • Initium sapientiae timor Domini est Bezos
  • Fear of Bezos is the Beginning of Wisdom 

Lachemi University of Proletariats  

  • Liberatio ad pauperes per pauperes fecit education
  • Liberation for the Poor through Poor Education 

El Dorado University 

  • Explorarent urbem Gould (Street)
  • Explore the City of Gould (Street)

Ram Ganesh College of White Collar Crime 

  • Dolum, Fabricare, Fugite
  • Fraud, Fabricate, Flee 

TIFF University 

  • Quia caritas educatione, et de possibilitate videns Steve Carell in September
  • For the love of knowledge, and the possibility of seeing Steve Carell in September 

Aasdnfaldsjsfnald College

  • Frangeret vitrum laquearia ánima keyboards
  • My soul doth smash keyboards and glass ceilings

Education “R” Us 

  • Pueritia somnia mors est
  • Death to Childhood Dreams

Kerr Hall Memorial University 

  • Urite victrices per vias aeris vaga animi corridors
  • To conquer the aimless corridors of the mind 

Balzac’s Coffee Roasters 

  • Capulus est supra XXV annorum recens tosta Canada connectens
  • Connecting Canadians through fresh roasted coffee for over 25 years

Comments

  1. This article title gave me a fuckin heart attack, but it was a good read lol.

  2. Some modest proposals for a new name:
    1. The York County Institute of Applied Manual Training
    2. Cairo University Toronto Campus
    3. The Toronto Institute For Politically Correct Studies

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