By Shannan Peck
When times are tough and you need a little career or life inspo, look no further than the incredible alumni that once graced Ryerson’s halls. Take this quiz to figure out which Rye alum you should pin to your vision board—both the famous, and the not so famous.
What’s your idea of a perfect graduation day?
A. Giving a valedictorian speech on what Ryerson has failed to do these past four years and claiming your graduating class will change the world in spite of it, not because of it.
B. Getting to show off your new expensive thing-a-mi-jig/[insert gadget here] that you bought with your first paycheck at your first career job.
C. Wearing your craziest shoes, even though your feet are going to hurt when the dean’s listing off all your specializations and accomplishments.
D. Sleeping in and getting your degree in the mail a week later.
E. Pulling a prank so glorious it trends on YouTube, Reddit and even gets an article in Vice.
F. To be honest, just graduating is enough for me.
What is your plan after school?
A. Add the mayor on speed-dial (and pen a cutting op-ed after they inevitably block your number).
B. Set a world record for Most Job Interviews Scheduled in 24 Hours.
C. Change the world—sure, it’s vague, but you’re still deciding which of the 30 job offers or grad school acceptance letters you’ll accept.
D. Relax and travel!
E. Disappoint my parents in a spectacular way.
F. …They should add that question to the Geneva Convention Against Torture.
What is your dream job?
A. Something social justice-related. Doesn’t have to pay well, but it needs to matter.
B. Something in my field that pays well!
C. Something tangible. I want to make a difference but I want it to last for a long time.
D. Who dreams of working? I’ll work, but it’s not my dream, y’know?
E. I have the humour of a pre-teen boy and I want to be paid for it.
F. If I can, something in my field. My degree is worth something, right?
What is the name of your most-played Spotify Playlist?
A. I deleted it when they sponsored Joe Rogan. Do you still use it?
B. I have a few, but the one I use the most is ‘Motivational Music.’
C. I don’t know if you can make a podcast playlist…
D. ‘Songs That Make You Go Feral.’
E. ‘420 Selections for the Esteemed Midnight Wank.’
F. I just listen to the same song over and over again for a few months to feel something.
What do you have for breakfast?
A. Smoothie made with almond milk.
B. Toast or dry cereal if I have time.
C. Avocado toast with cashew nuts…and a coffee with at least five espresso shots.
D. Whatever I’m craving—the world can wait for me to eat.
E. Eh, what everyone else does…until the weekend when I can make pancakes shaped like swear words in 10 different languages.
F. You guys eat breakfast?
Mostly As: Cathy Crowe: An esteemed ‘street nurse’ and political advocate who speaks out about injustices in Toronto committed against people experiencing homelessness. The homeless population is one that doesn’t always make the rounds in social justice circles, but she’s there and she’s proud to support them. You want that life too. Rebel with a cause, provocateur for a cause you believe in, and honestly the idea of a politician thumping their head into their desk when you call their office is #goals.
Mostly Bs: Gina Wallace: Gina tries her damndest to get ahead, and so do you. She’s debating the merits of attending school again and is close to becoming a conspiracy theorist about the opportunities in the Canadian job market. Perhaps she can try for a work visa in Lithuania. You are both talented and haven’t had the best luck. Take a deep breath, do some yoga (if you share that trait with her) and breathe. You’ll make it.
Mostly Cs: Nasra Agil: Former youth organizer, top of her class and recipient of the Duke of Edinburgh’s International Award presented by the Governor General of Canada. You have big dreams and even the skills to match, but you don’t let it get to your head. You have talents, and you want to use them to help people. That makes you one of the best types of alums out there.
Mostly Ds: Jasper Fisher: Maybe it seems odd that a civil engineer grad is working as a nanny, but honestly they’re quite happy. Did they want a job in the field? Well, at the time sure, but not now. They’re happy, they’re exploring the world and honestly, babysitting rich people’s kids during the day and going to clubs at night is great! Even if this whole school thing doesn’t work out like it was sold to you doesn’t mean you can’t be happy—and honestly, maybe it’ll be better if it doesn’t.
Mostly Es: Kenny Hotz: There’s an equal amount of people that will groan and cheer when they find out you and a South Park writer attended Ryerson, and that suits you perfectly fine. You’re the class clown, the agitator and honestly why spend the first four years of adulthood stressed and serious? Getting a human rights complaint for making a banner reading ‘Jesus Sucks’ [to roast your soon-to-be married friend] and flying it across Toronto is pretty damn motivational.
Mostly Fs: You: Why you? Well, because you are special! I know, I’m generally not the contributor on here that has the feel-good answers, but let’s face it: it’s exhausting living in this world we live in and sometimes you need a pick-me-up. You’ll make it out of here, and even if you need help, that’s okay. You’ll be an alum, and even if things are still tough, there are still plenty of opportunities to take that nap you deserve.