Faith and Fabric: Personal journeys to the hijab

By Lama Alshami

For many Muslim women at Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU), visibly wearing their faith in a Western country is not always safe. However, this has not stopped them from proudly putting on their hijabs every day. 

Inaya Khan, a second-year business management student, started wearing the hijab at the age of 15. Up until grade 12, she lived in the United Arab Emirates, a Muslim-majority country, where many women wore the hijab. 

“But when I came here [to Canada], I became a physical representation of a Muslim,” she said. 

Upon her arrival to Canada, Khan noticed a big change in her personality and completely altered the way she dressed and the way she wore the hijab. 

In the Middle East, Khan explained that people often respect women who veil. However, in the West, it was difficult for her to wear abayas—a loose-fitting floor-length outer garment typically worn by Muslim or Arab women—or longer dresses and skirts as she wanted to fit into ‘Canadian’ norms. “I wanted to wear jeans—the cool baggy jeans,” she said. 

“I feel very strongly that the hijab is more than just a headscarf. It’s a concept of Islam”

Slowly, as she got more comfortable with herself, she began wearing looser clothes. Even though she’s now confident in her identity, the environment in Canada isn’t always welcoming. 

“I feel scared to wear the hijab when I go to [university] because of the area that we’re in…I don’t know when I could be a victim because of my hijab,” said Khan. 

“We’re a clear target,” she added.

Yumna Hussain, a fourth-year social work student, shares the same sentiments.

“When you’re visibly [Muslim], it’s an easier punch,” explained Hussain, referring to feeling more like a target. 

While she “periodically and randomly” wore the hijab throughout her childhood, Hussain only began wearing it full-time in high school. She immediately noticed that people would treat her differently, especially those who knew her before she began wearing the hijab. 

“There was a boy from middle school who saw me and didn’t recognize me at first, and then when he recognized me, he had just a pure face of shock,” Hussain remembered. 

As for Khan, when she first started her journey with the hijab, she said even her friends didn’t look at her the same way. 

“They treated me like I did a whole [180] and I’m this new person who can’t smile, who can’t laugh, who doesn’t know how to make jokes, as if I wasn’t the same person I was yesterday,” she expressed. 

Khalidah Ali, a sessional instructor at the University of Toronto Mississauga with a PhD in the study of religion, explained that there’s a historical fear of Muslim women and “stereotyping based on markers of clothing goes back centuries.”

“In a place like Canada or the United States that have been Europeanized through ethnic cleansing, they’ve created a Euro-Canadian or Euro-American society that has particular markers of what is the norm,” she shared.

“Wearing the hijab, across the room, I see another hijab, and that’s an instant community built right there”

Islamophobia is a major and current problem in Canada. A recent report by the House of Commons Standing Committee on Justice and Human Rights in December 2024 outlined that Islamophobia and hate crimes toward Muslims are on the rise. The committee wrote, “Women wearing the hijab are being harassed, assaulted, and spat on in public.”

Sometimes, Khan wears the niqab—a veil that leaves only the eyes visible—in Toronto and she can recall instances of people blatantly staring at her. 

Once at Union Station, a woman approached her and told her to “take that off.” 

Ali explained, “The woman becomes a symbolic proxy for civilizational discourses of conquer and rescue and backwardness and progressiveness. So, when a Muslim woman takes on the veil and hijab, she cannot just be an individual on her own.” 

She continued, saying that Muslim women in the West face everyday racism, xenophobia, discrimination in the media and politicians who use them for their own political posturing.

Ali mentioned this is not a new issue, explaining that, amid the colonial period in 19th century Egypt, “Lord Cromer and other colonial agents talked about the veil as oppressive. That they need to rescue Muslim women from the oppression of the veil.” 

Khan believes it’s important for her to be aware of these perceptions to break the narrative. 

“I carry the weight of representing my religion in a proper manner on my shoulders. And I love that,” she expressed. 

“There are definitely people who go through hijab being forced upon them…[but] I can safely say my hijab does not oppress me,” Khan added. 

Ali explained that wearing the hijab primarily depends on personal circumstances.

“When you’re visibly [Muslim], it’s an easier punch”

Some Muslim women grow up in families where, after reaching a certain age, it is common to wear the hijab. For others, it’s something they do to express their faith. But Ali said, “I don’t think that Muslim women should have to justify their choices constantly.” 

Hussain said the assumptions that come with wearing the hijab are the worst. “People look at me and think that, because I’m wearing a scarf over my head, they can assume things about me without even knowing me.”

“I am always my own person, always defying the rules and everyone in this room can attest to that,” Hussain motioned to her two friends sitting beside her, “So, I’m not going to let someone stop me from doing what’s best for me.” 

This journey to self-acceptance wasn’t a fast one for Khan or Hussain, as both of them are the only women in their immediate family who wear the hijab for religious reasons rather than only for cultural ones.  

“It was obviously a big step for me and something that I really had to consider because it would definitely make me look like the black sheep when I’m out with my family,” said Khan.

Hussain’s parents were worried as she put the hijab on during a time of increased tension towards the Muslim community. The Paris attacks in November 2015 and the Quebec mosque shooting in January 2017 were both recent events around the same time that Hussain began wearing it. 

Hussain has also been called a terrorist before, simply for being Muslim.

“So, [my parents] were also like, ‘Is this gonna be another 9-11? How is my daughter gonna do this?’ And to this day, that’s still a threat in their mind,” said Hussain. 

There are also moments of comparison amongst those who don’t wear the hijab, “But those are the moments where you have to realize this is the point of the hijab. This is the point of the veil. It’s not to beautify yourself. It’s to actually hide your beauty,” said Khan.

Khan described the hijab as her identity. “If I don’t have my hijab, [I’m] not me,” she said. 

“I feel very strongly that the hijab is more than just a headscarf. It’s a concept of Islam,” said Hussain.

“I carry the weight of representing my religion in a proper manner on my shoulders. And I love that”

Hussain believes that aside from being part of who she is, the headscarf also acts as a protective barrier to the cultural norms that don’t align with Islam. 

“It is a bridge to let [people] know, ‘Hey, sorry, I’m just not going to shake your hand for religious reasons, or I’m not going to do this for religious reasons,” she said.

Ali shared that democratizing public space is one of the ways in which Muslim women can challenge Islamophobia and push back against stereotypes regarding the hijab.

“A lot of Muslim women are in non-traditional fields now [and] being unapologetically themselves in those spaces. I think that pioneering work has created more and more spaces for people coming up afterwards,” she said, referring to media representation. 

Both Khan and Hussain agree that the best part of wearing the hijab is the way it brings Muslim women together.

“Wearing the hijab, across the room, I see another hijab, and that’s an instant community built right there,” said Hussain

Similarly, when Khan is around another hijabi, there’s a feeling of relief. “We have this mutual agreement. We look at each other, we acknowledge each other, and we know we’re there,” she said. 

Above all, the hijab provides a sense of comfort. 

“It just makes me feel more at peace because I know that I’m pleasing Allah,” said Khan.