By Kayla Solway
Coming out of the closet is rarely straightforward and can be a continuous, ongoing process. It can present various opportunities for growth, self-expression or even internal conflicts. For many in the LGBTQ+ community, reflection oftentimes leads to a path of self-discovery and the acceptance of themselves and their own identity.
These LGBTQ+ students from Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU) reflect on their younger, closeted selves, and share heartfelt words of love and wisdom that they would have wanted to hear when growing up.
Letter One – Ciaran Nassar (He/Him) | Second-year history student
“There’s always going to be people who don’t like you. There’s always going to be people who are mean to you—whether you’re straight, whether you’re masculine or feminine, whether you’re [in the closet]—there’s always going to be people who hate you, but it’s so much easier to deal with that hate if you love yourself.”
Nassar’s coming out experience was less than ideal as it violated his autonomy. After confiding in a friend, word spread throughout his school without his permission and spiralled out of his control. However, this forced him to reflect on his identity and evaluate which people he wanted in his life. It also pushed him to confront aspects of his inner self that he had yet to explore.
At the age of 11, he was one of the first people to come out at his middle school. Because of this, he became a source of guidance and support for others. By helping those around him and diving into his own self-exploration, he was able to embrace his true identity as a bisexual person. Once he found contentment within himself, he was able to rise above the negativity he faced.
Looking back, Nassar sees how far he’s come now, living a life he has always dreamed of and knew he could achieve—thriving in a metropolitan city, performing drag under the name Gigi Ganda and embracing a more feminine style.
Letter Two – Cris Nippard (They/Them) | Second-year journalism student
“Keep doing what you’re doing, kid…Don’t silence yourself just because the people around you are saying you might be weird or they’re judging you. Who cares? They’re not going to be there at the end of the finish line. You’re going to be with your community and you’re going to feel good about yourself.”
Nippard has always emphasized living one’s truth and living authentically.
Growing up, they found comfort and support from their mother and her many lesbian friends, who served as strong role models. However, their journey to where they are now wasn’t without challenges.
Struggles with an abusive stepfather, religious pressures and heteronormativity were always present in their life. Despite this, they have embraced their authentic, unapologetic self and now work with The Queer Space as part of the Toronto Metropolitan Students’ Union, where they advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and report on marginalized communities.
Letter Three – Enya Jovicik (She/Her) | Second-year English student
“You don’t have to be as scared as you are, love for you is everywhere. Love is around every corner. It’s not as alienating and drastically life-changing as you think it’s going to be and that it’s not something you ever need to be ashamed of.”
Realizing she was queer at 12-years-old, Jovicik experienced the loneliness and fear that often comes with navigating and embracing one’s identity.
As a child, her surroundings were shaped by heteronormativity and limited representation. Despite her internal struggles, Jovicik said she was fortunate to grow up in an environment that supported her and allowed her to embrace this identity without fear of rejection.
Jovicik is proud of where she is now and who she has become—surrounded by a queer community, living a life that is filled with love and owning a sense of belonging that she has always imagined for herself.
Letter Four – Lana Naraine (She/Her) | Fourth-year English student
“Don’t beat yourself up for feeling these feelings and having attraction [towards] everybody. I feel now that I’m older, the label that resonates the most with me is being pansexual. Just someone that loves someone for who they are. Literally, it doesn’t matter how you look—I can just be attracted to your personality and fall in love with your soul.”
Growing up, Naraine often wrestled with feelings of uncertainty about her identity.
A memory from her childhood of two girls kissing at Nathan Phillips Square has stuck with her all these years later. Although she didn’t fully understand its significance at the time, it changed her view on romance and love, making her want to experience the feeling for herself.
Surrounded by an accepting community of friends, Naraine said she found comfort and a realization that she had never felt the need to come out formally. Her love for others is boundless and deeply rooted in connection and understanding.
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