Fun & Satire Nuit Blanche for art snobs September 28, 2018 Get prepped for Nuit Blanche like the art snob you’ve always wanted to be
Campus NewsFun & Satire Briefs and Groaners: Always be ready for a golden shower September 25, 2018 Every week, The Eyeopener meets with Ryerson security and gets the low-down on what’s been happening on campus. Here are some notable, and often unfortunate, entries
Fun & Satire Local interns still don’t know how to make coffee, fear being asked September 25, 2018 The interns' lack of coffee-making skills are affecting their workplace proficiency
Fun & Satire Ryerson announces 8th-floor SLC pillow room for students to scream into the void September 21, 2018 Scream your heart out, Ryerson
Fun & Satire Dear Artemis: A discussion with the office dog September 18, 2018 Our office dog, Artemis, engages in a tell-all interview with The Eye
Fun & Satire Ryerson employees can now tell customers off without consequences September 18, 2018 Chances are you’ve had the urge to reach over the counter and give a piece of your mind to the rude customer you are contractually obligated to serve. There is now a free speech policy change that could help you
Fun & Satire New study finds that teachers are actually more scared of students September 11, 2018 “The study concluded that regardless of the age group of students, teachers were 100 per cent more afraid of them than vice versa”
Walk down Gould Street through construction April 20, 2005 That smelly smell that smells You decide that walking down Gould Street towards the construction is the best course of action. Maybe Lachemi is there, lambasting the construction workers and project manager for not finishing his precious urban campus on time. Those assholes at The Eyeopener just won’t get off his case about it. What’s […]
Walk around Lake Devo April 20, 2005 Shortcuts always do the trick. You see your evil ex in the distance across the road from you, so you decide to cut across the street while you still can. As you hop on the street, you hear what a gnarly kickflip behind you. “Watch out!” A skater boy calls out to you as he […]
Walk down the sidewalk April 20, 2005 WHOM??????? You begin walking down the sidewalk towards the Student Campus Centre (SCC). Wait a piping-hot-pizza-bagel second. Is that fucking RAM GANESH himself out in broad daylight!? You’re a naturally curious individual, so you approach him. What do you ask him first? Ask him about the missing student money Ask him if he knows where […]
Ask him about the missing student money April 20, 2005 Does anyone else hear the DragonBallZ intro music playing? Former Ryerson Students’ Union president Ram Ganesh disappeared off the face of the Earth after the alleged credit card scandal last year. You test the waters and ask him, “Ram, where IS the money from last year?” He cackles. The ground begins to tremble and the […]
Ask him if he knows where Lachemi is April 20, 2005 Why did he just get paler? You ask Ganesh if he knows where Lachemi is. It makes sense that he would know, considering he needs to hide from the man at all times. “You should check Kerr Hall,” says Ganesh. You thank him and get on your way. That was quick and transactional. Nice. And […]