Category: Fun & Satire

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Three people sitting on blue seats in Blue Jays gear looking nervously forward.

Toronto Blue Jays kill the city of Toronto

November 4, 2025

The city of Toronto sadly passed away this week following a disheartening loss

Illustration of a person with brown and red hair with headphones and holding a long boom mic that is pointed at a bed. The bed has a pink blanket on it that shapes under it.

RTA students enter the adult film industry

November 4, 2025

TMU RTA students trade Hollywood dreams for porn sets while things get a little messy ;)

Image of a person's silhouette in front of a blue and yellow hue background.

Confessions of TMSU Saviour…

October 28, 2025

The person behind the TMSU saviour curtain speaks to The Eyeopener about their true intentions...

Sketches of storyboards, ghosts and speech bubbles on a blue orange background with the word "comics" centred in a bold font.

The scariest costume this Halloween

October 28, 2025

The most frightening costume this Halloween season may not be what you think it is...

Illustration of witches outside a building with their arms raised, holding signs with bold red lettering.

Witches unionize at TMU School of Medicine

October 28, 2025

Three TMU witches form a union—BREW-U—demanding better hours, cleaner towers, and more inclusive blood for their spells

Illustration of a werewolf in a hallway lined with lockers tearing off a blue and yellow shirt that reads "engineering".

Fourth-year engineering student mistaken for WEREWOLF

October 28, 2025

Midterms, madness and one very scary hairy misunderstanding haunts TMU’s halls this Halloween

A person leaning over a toilet in a bathroom with a straw while another person holds them back from behind.

Student hospitalized after drinking from greywater toilet

October 21, 2025

Why flush it when you can drink it up?

A person is laying their head on a desk looking at a package of THC and various other objects.

Student who swore off weed relapses within the hour

October 21, 2025

Just minutes into quitting the dank, one TMU student loses control of his inhibitions and dives back in

Sketches of storyboards, stick people and speech bubbles on a blue background with the word "comics" centred in a bold font.

Blocked on everything but LinkedIn

October 7, 2025

When the former love of your life blocks you on everything - you may get a little creative

Illustration with a red and orange distorted background with text that reads "eyebituary".

Eyebituaries: October 7, 2025

October 7, 2025

Recent deaths that have rocked the TMU community to its core

Photo of two people’s backs standing in front of a food truck with a blue and red hue coming from the upper left side of the frame. The blue and red hues cast coloured shadows on the two people.

SCC fire alarm boosts business for Gould Street Shawarma truck

October 7, 2025

False alarms and full stomachs, TMU’s latest fire scare smells a lot like shawarma

Student holding textbooks and pushing up their glasses in front of the Campus Store

First-year student buys textbooks like a freakin’ dork

September 30, 2025

First-year student buys every textbook on the syllabus and becomes the poster child for freshman failure

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