Category: Fun & Satire

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Illustration with a red and orange distorted background with text that reads "eyebituary".

Eyebituaries: October 7, 2025

October 7, 2025

Recent deaths that have rocked the TMU community to its core

Photo of two people’s backs standing in front of a food truck with a blue and red hue coming from the upper left side of the frame. The blue and red hues cast coloured shadows on the two people.

SCC fire alarm boosts business for Gould Street Shawarma truck

October 7, 2025

False alarms and full stomachs, TMU’s latest fire scare smells a lot like shawarma

Student holding textbooks and pushing up their glasses in front of the Campus Store

First-year student buys textbooks like a freakin’ dork

September 30, 2025

First-year student buys every textbook on the syllabus and becomes the poster child for freshman failure

An photo illustration of a shadow of a person over a yellow coloured Lake Devo.

‘TMU Pisser’ scaring the piss out of students on campus

September 30, 2025

An Instagram account has emerged, threatening to rain down suspicious liquid on students at TMU

Illustration of a person in a lecture hall, there is a though bubble which depicts them on their laptop stressed out.

Opinion: Yes, you chose the wrong elective, you’re screwed

September 23, 2025

Welp, you picked the wrong elective—now you’re stuck, stressed and weirdly well-versed in something useless

Stressed person sitting in front of a TV with their phone in their hand, with the fan duel app open.

Student loses entire OSAP loan after “sure-fire lock” on FanDuel

September 23, 2025

Student loans, AI advice and Bulgarian horse betting — what could possibly go wrong?

Picture of student looking sadly out a window with her hand on the window. Outside the window is a food truck with a big sign that says “FREE LABUBU MATCHA.”

Everything you missed while commuting to campus

September 16, 2025

When commuting, students continue to miss the unexpected moments that make campus life unique

painting of a young student crying on his knees, under a spotlight on a stage. Red curtains are parted in the middle and the words “PIPPIN” are on the curtain.

BREAKING: TMU to introduce 10-step verification

September 16, 2025

TMU announces new 10-step account verification system for all student accounts, and they’re all bonkers

An individual exclaiming while pointing at the Dundas station sign on the platform.

TTC board to change TMU Station back to Dundas after nobody cared

August 19, 2025

TMU and TTC undo $1.6M Dundas Station rename after no one noticed or cared

An illustration of a swamp monster emerging from a green coloured Lake Devo.

Eye-vestigation: The Lake Devo swamp monster is real

August 19, 2025

Look out next time you walk by Lake Devo, a 12-foot swamp monster has claimed it as home

That master’s program isn’t looking so bad now, is it?

TMU grads take on the crashing job market

The ascent of Marks into fun and satire editor

Looks like somebody got the lucky promotion!

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